sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Wooo it's the latest Susan Palwick! Last time I reviewed a Susan Palwick novel I accidentally talked for like 1500 words whiiiich is possibly overkill? I don't have 1500 words in me this time, in part because this one is a less ambitious novel than the last. But this one was overall more successful than Shelter, I think.

It's...a literary fiction novel, I suppose you could say. It takes place entirely in our current real world and is about the reactions of various people to a terrible personal tragedy (tw for rape and murder and suicide in the book) that occurs. Except that I genuinely like the characters, and they feel like real people, and I care about them. And yes I cried.

It's a very Susan Palwick book, being about grief and loss and hard things and about how family (by blood or by choice) is important. And all that is great!

But what's really special about it is the other part - the stuff about the Comrade Cosmos comic book series and the Comrade Cosmos fandom. A number of the main characters are into CCverse, and the novel spends a fair amount of time talking about CCverse and oh dear god I love everything about this. It reads like Palwick GENUINELY GETS IT about fandom and it makes me SO HAPPY. And the book acknowledges that slash exists without getting weird or judgy about it! (and is also one hundred percent correct about what slash fans would ship because wow yes CC/EE practically writes itself)

(Also I have to say that I dearly want there to be fanart of the Emperor of Entropy at a birthday party. Lots of it. All the fanart. Also all the other CCverse fanworks.) (HELL YEAH I am requesting CCverse for yuletide this year!) (yes I already checked tumblr and AO3 and there's absolutely nothing about Comrade Cosmos and I am sad)

But the way that a fandom is a) fun for the people involved and b) also can be helpful and meaningful to people going through hard times is just... yeah.

And I love CCverse and its fandom as described in the book. I got genuinely squeeful reading each section about CCverse. And I love that the CCverse canon is explicitly imperfect - so Palwick didn't intend CCverse to be a shining paragon of a canon that does everything right. Which makes me feel better about things like the way that CC's backstory involves a fridged woman whose continued disabled existence is only to cause CC angst instead of her getting to be a person in her own right. And the only major female characters are the love interest(s) and the fridged/tragically-disabled family member. It's like...yeah. That's too often what comic books DO, unfortunately. CCverse is interesting and groundbreaking in other ways, but it also retreads some very familiar ground.

At any rate, I don't have any grand sweeping statements to end my thoughts with. But I really liked this book and I'm glad I read it. AWW YEAH SUSAN PALWICK.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Oh lord, it's been five full years I've been active in online fandom. I lurked for absolute ages beforehand, but it is five years ago last month that I decided I needed to make myself a fannish LJ following the release of the Star Trek reboot, that I had lurked long enough and it was time to make my debut.

What a good decision that was! I've had such good times in fandom over the years. I have made wonderful friends, I have grown a great deal as a writer (I might moan about my current inadequacies, but I am so much better than I was five years ago), I have discovered the joy of podficcing, I have chatted and squeed and live-watched and read and written and thought and recced and participated. Fandom sustained me through some harder times; fandom was also there to be a repository of joy. I've not always been consistent about my degree of participation nor my manner of participation, but fandom has been a major part of my life the last five years and I am so grateful for it.

THANK YOU to all of you for helping make it so wonderful an experience!
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Sometimes when people post things (fic, meta, reactions, gifs, fanart, etc) with spoilers in, they preface the spoilery post with DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN/READ/PLAYED [INSERT THING HERE].

As someone who actively seeks out spoilers before seeing/reading/playing most things (I get stressed out and unable to enjoy the thing because I'm too worried about what's going to happen), I find this annoying at best and insulting at worst. I'm guessing that the people who do this don't mean it that way, but to me it comes across as policing the internet law about spoilers that spoilers are somehow inherently bad and wrong.

Instead of straightforwardly saying "This contains spoilers for [insert thing here]," which allows the readers to decide for themselves whether or not they want to be spoilered, the habit of telling people not to read if they haven't already seen/read/played the thing is a way of telling the reader that the author of the spoilery post knows better than you about what you do or don't want to know. It's a way of telling me that my way of interacting with the world is unacceptable. It's a way of telling me that I don't belong.

And I really don't appreciate it.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
...Just noticed that the ten most recent things I've bookmarked on pinboard encompass nine different fandoms. HOW VERY ME.

Also very me: after noticing this, I had the insatiable urge to tally the rest of the fandoms on the whole first page of my pinboard (which encompasses my most recent 160 bookmarks). The results are as follows:

- Bandom: 1
- Cotillion, by Georgette Heyer: 1
- The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexandre Dumas: 1
- Discworld series, by Terry Pratchett: 3
- Doctor Who: 3
- Due South: 1
- Elementary: 1
- Fairy Tales (Little Mermaid): 1
- Fandom: 1
- Generation Kill: 3
- Ghost Soup Infidel Blue: 1
- Hawai'i 5-0: 1
- Highlander: 1
- History (Vidocq): 1
- Hockey RPF: 14
- Inception: 1
- James Bond: 3
- Laxdaela Saga: 1
- Les Miserables: 53
- Leverage: 2
- The Lost Prince, by Frances Hodgson Burnett: 1
- Marvel (Avengers): 10
- Marvel (Spider-Man): 2
- Maurice, by E.M. Forster: 1
- Multifandom: 1
- Original fiction: 1
- Pern series, by Anne McCaffrey: 1
- Person of Interest: 12
- Pirates of the Caribbean: 1
- Sherlock: 2
- Sinbad: 1
- Slings & Arrows: 1
- Spartacus: 1
- Star Trek: 1
- Teen Wolf: 21
- Toy Story: 1
- Up: 1
- Vikings: 8
- Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold: 1
- White Collar: 2

Which is 40 fandoms, or an approximately 4:1 ratio of bookmarks to fandoms. Hah!

(yes, it's a quarter past two in the afternoon on a weekday and I am not at work. Freezing rain --> ice all over everything --> power outages, including my office!)


Apr. 23rd, 2012 04:27 pm
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Apparently this is how I roll right now: ANOTHER POST about something I don't like! BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW I LIKE BEING GROUCHY? Um. That sounds totally accurate, yeah....


I hang out in Pinboard's popular/fandom page kind of a lot and it's always fascinating to track fandom trends via the fandoms that show up. Like, for instance, I'd never seen a Hunger Games anything on the page in all the time I've been stopping by (which is, btw, EXTREMELY REGULARLY and has been since the page first launched), and then the DAY AFTER the movie was released? HUNGER GAMES FIC. It's fascinating to me, this indication yet again that fandoms don't get popular until there's movies/tv of them. The Hunger Games books are a huge fucking deal, lots of people adore them, and yet there wasn't enough fannish density or enthusiasm until after the movie came out for any of the fandom's creations to make it onto the popular/fandom page.

I've also been finding it interesting to notice the shift in popular pairings in Avengers fic that gets bookmarked. The stuff on the popular/fandom page used to be all about the Tony/Steve, with the occasional other mixed in. Then one day the first Clint/Coulson fic showed up among the variety of occasional other pairings, and I was like WTF because the pairing seemed kind of out there. Where did it come from? Who came up with it? And I shrugged, and was like, sure, whatevs, there's always people wanting to see what happens when you ship two unexpected people together. I mean, I certainly enjoy seeing what happens!

But these days? Something like HALF of the Avengers fic on the page is Clint/Coulson.

What happened?

The thing is, I'm actually kind of upset at the Clint/Coulson? Because fandom's random unfounded pairing of choice involving Clint and a non-comics-canon character used to be Clint/Darcy and I was ALL OVER THAT because DARCYYYYYYYYYY. And these days I see almost no Clint/Darcy fic, and people are all about the Clint/Coulson. It's one of those things that makes me think grouchily about the way fandom loves its white-dudes-fucking. Because I see no reason for Clint/Coulson to be more popular than Clint/Darcy except for the fact that it doesn't have a woman in it.

I don't have any objection to the ship Clint/Coulson itself! Excellent fic can be written for it! And I do very much enjoy reading fic about characters you wouldn't necessarily expect to ship, and I like the way that fandom is open to embracing the unexpected. In a vacuum, I could see myself really enjoying Clint/Coulson, because they are both fun characters to read about. But I am not reading it in a vacuum, I am reading it in a mindset where I can't help but think to myself BUT WHY NOT CLINT/DARCY??????

I also don't have any objection to those who like to read and/or write Clint/Coulson! You specifically enjoying it is not where I am seeing the problem. I mean, I certainly do ship plenty of white dudes with each other in some fandoms; but in other fandoms I ship PoC dudes, or white ladies, or PoC ladies, or indeed people who do not conform to standard ideas of gender (or race, on account of being, say, a different species), in a variety of combinations. If for instance I were to be judged solely on the basis of Fraser/Kowalski, my tastes would be rather damning -- but I am not judged solely on the basis of Fraser/Kowalski, just like other people are not to be judged solely on the basis of Clint/Coulson. So the problem is not any particular person!

No, the problem is that the rise of this ship is an excellent example of the endemic problem in fandom where the Ships That Eat Fandom are almost inevitably about two white dudes, and apparently my brain has decided that THIS is the ship on which to take a stand.

So this means that even though I'm quite sure there's very good fic out there for Clint/Coulson, written by excellent authors -- and in fact I have even read a small amount of it -- I don't actually want to read it. It makes me GRUMPY every time I see another fic involving Clint/Coulson.


(on a semi-related note, this all makes me wish yet again that I had done the thing I'd kind of wanted to do when the popular/fandom page was first rolled out, of keeping stats every single day about what fandoms showed up on it in what quantity. I could have made such shiny graphs out of that kind of data! And it would have been so interesting! *sigh* Although even if I'd done that it wouldn't have tracked things like the Steve/Tony vs Clint/Coulson vs Clint/Darcy thing)

(Oh, and btw, this is a psa to any of you who might have gotten a Pinboard account more recently, to go to your settings page and click the ticky that says you are a member of fandom. That will ensure that your bookmarks will be taken into account in the algorithm to put together the popular/fandom page. The more fans that do this, the better and more useful the popular/fandom page will be!)
sophia_sol: Hamlet, as played by David Tennant, reading a book (Hamlet: Hamlet reading)
OH RIGHT I was going to do posts about other books I've read lately! Here, have my thoughts about Among Others, by Jo Walton! )
sophia_sol: Hamlet, as played by David Tennant, reading a book (Hamlet: Hamlet reading)
So today I finished reading The Magicians by Lev Grossman. Yup, the book by the dude who wrote the article about fandom! And yup, that's why I picked it up!

Cut for spoilers )
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Today I read a book, and now I am going to talk about it at extreme length. This post comes in twdo parts: The nonspoilery part, and the extremely spoilery part. I will cut the second part, in case you are interested in reading the book and don't want to get spoiled.

Part one: no spoilers

Oh right, I should tell you what the book is. The book is called Sprout, and it is by Dale Peck.

Today I was out on errands and ended up with a bit of time to kill, so I wandered into the nearby independent bookstore, and discovered it has a whole little section on queer stuff! So that was awesome and made me happy. And then the bottom shelf was picture books with queer themes -- things like And Tango Makes Three, and Heather Has Two Mommies, and other classics I keep hearing about but have never read, so I promptly read through all of them, and it made me grin like a doofus.

And then there was a novel sitting on the shelf that the picture books were on, and it looked intriguing, so I picked it up. (okay, so I was immediately attracted by the person with short green hair on the cover. I like interesting hair, okay?)

And ended up reading the whole thing perched on a chair in the corner of the store. Oops.

The book -- Sprout -- is very good. I really enjoyed reading it. The use of language is self-conscious but still somehow beautiful, and I really liked the main character (also called Sprout) and was very engaged in his life.

It is, as you might guess from what part of the bookstore I picked it up in, a book about being gay.

(and as an awesome bonus for me, it took place in one of the Mennonite areas of the US, a part of Kansas, and so here and there there'd be references to super-menno names and I'd just grin in recognition.)

And it's really hard to talk about this book without spoilers because the book is basically about secrets, and what secrets Sprout is and isn't keeping, so I'll end the spoiler-free part with the following: Awesome book (albeit with a caveat I discuss in the next section), you should totally read it, the end.

So! Part two: spoilers! That turn into a discussion of the similarities and differences between the genre expectations of lit versus fanfic! )

Year Two

Jun. 23rd, 2011 07:37 pm
sophia_sol: Jack Aubrey lifting a glass, with text that says "I'll drink to that" (M&C: Jack: I'll drink to that)
DUDE. Two year anniversary of being Sophia, of being an active part of fandom, of blogging my fannish thoughts regularly, of becoming more and more hopelessly polyfannish, of finding all sorts of awesome internet friends, of MANY OTHER THINGS.

This is my end of year post, since last year I started the tradition of doing it on my journal's anniversary instead of at the end of the calendar year. And a one-year-old tradition is obviously inviolable. :D

My year in review )
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
I have a thing about William Carlos Williams. That is to say, I have an issue with him and his poems. So much so that I, um, have one of them memorized. In my defense it's really short and I didn't mean to? *headdesk*

So yeah.

"So much depends upon the red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater beside the white chickens." Whatever, William Squared.

As a result I have been working on a collection of fannish poetry that has been written as a pastiche of or reaction to him, usually of the one about the plums. They are AWESOME. And here they are, as recs. If you know of any others, PLEASE do share! They make me strangely joyful, despite my antipathy towards William Carlos Williams himself.

This Is Just To Say, by [personal profile] toft. A Mythbusters version!
(ETA: And in the comments of the LJ version of Toft's, as a sort of sequel, a Mythbusters version of the wheelbarrow poem too, by [ profile] shimere277!)

FORGIVE ME, WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS, by [ profile] asimaiyat. A series of White Collar versions, that together form a fic!

An experiment in translation, by [ profile] skalja. A lolcat translation!

With All Apologies To William Carlos Williams, by [ profile] lannamichaels. A fandom version! Of both the plum poem and the wheelbarrow poem!
sophia_sol: Text saying "fascinating" with the Star Trek logo beneath it (ST: fascinating)
You know what? I'm pretty sure the dirtiest word I've used on my DW/LJ so far was in the school essay I posted yesterday. That seems...a little backward! Heh.

In other news, the other day I realized one of the (many!) reasons kink memes fascinate me.

Okay, so, you know how one definition of a genre is a body of works that are in conversation with each other?

And fanfic, obviously, follows that, with fandom in general being in conversation with itself to a degree, and individual fandoms to even greater extent, and individual comms/archives/what-have-you even more. And all of this is engaged in a conversation that's far more obvious than the traditional published-book genres, because there everything is slowed down by the facts of the publication process, whereas in fandom someone can write something and then other people can be reading it five minutes later.

And kink memes? Are like the Fandom X-Treme version of this. They become a microcosm of the culture, with the fics often subtly (or not-so-subtly!) referencing each other or referencing conversations that were had in various comment threads of the meme. To the point where although the fic may be perfectly understandable in isolation, you will appreciate it so much more if you've been religiously following the kink meme it comes from. (And sometimes to the point where a fic is completely incomprehensible if you haven't been following the meme, cf for example Earl from Inception.*)

And at this point if I were writing an essay I would be digging through the commentpages of the Dresden Files meme to pull out examples of what I'm talking about, because believe me, I have been stalking the hell out of that meme and I know whereof I speak. But I am too lazy/too disorganized/too busy with other stuff to do this. So you'll just have to trust me.

Anyways. What I'm saying is, it's awesome. Fic as a community exercise! Awesome.

(and it fascinates me to think of, in comparison, the drawerfic of so many fans' youth: fic written in complete isolation from anything like itself. You know what I would love to do? I would love to get my hands on a whole bunch of different people's drawerfic and analyze the sorts of things that pop up again and again without any cross-pollination between authors. That would be fascinating, and also kind of impossible given the intrinsic nature of drawerfic....)

*No, I didn't/don't actually follow the inception meme. I just managed to pick up on this from hanging around Inception fandom too much back when it was first new. What can I say? Inception fandom is fascinating. For reasons entirely unrelated to Earl, just so we're clear. Earl, I'm happier without.
sophia_sol: Blair Sandburg, with text that says "this is my Serious Academic face" (TS: Blair: Serious Acaface)
Remember how yonks ago I promised I'd share with you my final essay from my course on Queer Theory, the one that I wrote about fandom? I told you I would post it after the new year? Yeah, um, a month and a half it is in all its glory. I have not edited the content at all from the when I submitted it. Um, sorry about all the footnotes; they're a lot more readable when they go at the end of the page instead of the end of the entire essay!

Also, I realized belatedly that the polite thing to do would have been to ask the authors of the fics and posts I cite whether it would be okay for me to do so. So, um, I'm very sorry to anyone who discovers this and is offended by my use of their writing. There's not much I can do after the fact except to apologize and say that at least the only audience for my essay was my relatively fandom-friendly prof?

Anyways, I hope at least someone finds this interesting. I had fun doing it. (though I could not make myself reread it, even for posting it here - I can hardly ever bear to reread my essays. I only skimmed enough to put in the necessary formatting...)

In Your Media Queering Your Characters )
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (DW: Master: hello madness)
It is vaguely astounding to think back and realize how different my relationship with fandom has become since I created my LJ. I mean, I didn't really think it'd change very much. And yet it's totally revolutionized my fannish experience.

And I was halfway into writing a nice long post about it all, only somehow it turned into filking. Oops. IDEK how this even happened!* So, uh, my filk doesn't encompass nearly everything the post was going to, but at least it has the virtue of relative brevity?

Sung to the tune of Kisses Sweeter Than Wine.

And, just because I can, a soundcloud recording of me singing it. (I'm not the most talented singer in the world, but I have some modicum of ability. Hopefully this sounds decent.)

Fandom Pwns Everything by trulysophiasol

Lyrics )

* That's a lie. I do know how it happened. The first paragraph began with the line "when I was a young fan", and my brain free-associated from that to the first line of Kisses Sweeter Than Wine, and then I got the song stuck in my head, and then I started wondering how a version that was about a fan instead of a man would go, and then I wrote the first verse (intending to have that just be an amusing footnote in the post), and then I couldn't stop myself from doing the rest of the song.
sophia_sol: Hamlet, as played by David Tennant, reading a book (Hamlet: Hamlet reading)
Over the course of yesterday and today, I listened to the audiobook of King Of The Wind, by Marguerite Henry.* I acquired it ages ago, in the flush of my Man From UNCLE fannishness, because it is read by David McCallum. That was -- gosh, more than a year and a half ago, I think. But I never got around to listening to it until now.

I JUST finished it. And.

Reader, I cried. TWICE. Once when the queen was presenting the Plate and Agba remembered his promise to Sham and knew he had fulfilled it, and once when the explanation for the blank gravemarker is given. OH AGBA AND SHAM. THEIRLOVEISSOTRUE. ♥♥♥

I haven't read that book in probably close to 8 years, and it was fascinating to see the ways in which my perspective has changed. I still think it an unutterably fantastic book, and adore it deeply. But now I notice things like the fact that there's a character who stutters, and is portrayed rather as if the stutter is an aspect of his less than pleasant personality. Um. Problem.

But overall, it was every bit as heartwarming as I remember, though also a lot SHORTER than I remember. What's fascinating, though, is to see which bits my memory dwelt on but the book didn't, and which bits the book dwelt on but my memory didn't. There's this one bit that's dismissed with in only one line in the book, but is one of the bits that I can picture SO CLEARLY in my head that I was sure it must have been at least a page. I've never really had that experience before, because usually the books I really like I reread often enough that I never get the chance to develop these erroneous beliefs.

(Also, oh dear, I am obviously out of practice at reading books about the wildly passionately close love between a child and an animal. There were one or two moments when I couldn't help sporfling a bit over stuff fandom has trained me to see....)

ETA: I forgot to mention. David McCallum? An EXCELLENT audiobook reader. His voice is just so great. *happy sigh*

*I'm pretty sure I read every single book Marguerite Henry ever wrote, most of them at least 3 times, and the ones I OWNED? A truly astounding number of times. To have called me "horse-mad" would have been an understatement.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Mythbusters: I reject your reality etc)
I have discovered something: I really love kink/prompt memes. Not because the fic that gets posted there is somehow more interesting to me than fic that's posted elsewhere, but because of the way in which it is archived (is that even the right word for this? I don't know). Notification of fills goes into a fill post or a delicious account, and along with a link to the fic is a copy of the prompt itself.

And the great thing about that is that the prompt tends to be a really clear description of whatever becomes the heart of the fic, so I can tell from reading the prompt whether or not the fic is the sort of thing I'd be interested in. And sometimes the prompts are really detailed, and almost come out as plot summaries, and that's EVEN BETTER.

There is a reason why the rec-list of my heart is this one: it gives ALL THE IMPORTANT DETAILS without fear of spoilering the story, so I know that yes, this sounds like an EXCELLENT FIC, or no, that's not so much up my alley. Too often fic summaries are really vague and arty sounding instead of telling you anything concrete, or else they're just a random sentence quoted from the fic, which... okay, occasionally manages to summarize the fic, but more often just leave me going "....and? What's it about? Should I care about this fic?"

In my ideal world, every author would write a brief one-paragraph summary of what happens in their fic (including what happens at the end) and use that as their summary. Then I could both see if the story looks interesting, AND as a bonus have enough of a writing sample to be able to tell without needing to open the fic the fic whether the author is hopeless at spelling/grammar/punctuation. And it would be EXCELLENT!

Or it would be nice even if, if the paragraph-summaries are a lost cause, the summary could at least be something like, to take a TOTALLY RANDOM EXAMPLE*, "Rodney and John have a kid, get married, and fall in love. In that order" instead of "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." The latter is a rather nice description of the story IF YOU'VE ALREADY READ IT, but is kind of useless when you're scrolling through a random list of stories and looking for ones that sound interesting and don't already know to basically just trust everything that particular author has ever written.

Of course, this is never ever ever going to happen, because the vast majority of the world cares about spoilers, and my suggested example summary would definitely count as a spoiler.** And paragraph-long summaries would be even more spoilerrific.

But it's nice to imagine.

*it is a COMPLETE COINCIDENCE that my example is the SGA story of my heart, the one that brought me into SGA fandom in the first place.
**hence why my fics do not have summaries of the type I would most appreciate -- because my readers mostly wouldn't.
sophia_sol: Text saying "fascinating" with the Star Trek logo beneath it (ST: fascinating)
I keep seeing ads for this movie called "The Expendables" and each time my reaction is, no, you are NOT the Expendables. That would be the ECMs (Explorer Corps, colloquially known as Expendable Crew Members) from James Alan Gardner's League of Peoples series. GET IT RIGHT. The ECMs are way cooler than you will ever be.

Speaking of James Alan Gardner, recently I reread his book Commitment Hour. It is technically a part of the League of Peoples series, but all the action takes place in a tiny town on Old Earth, and it has a very different feel than the books in the series that take place in space.

I hadn't read Commitment Hour in years and years, it being the only League of Peoples book I don't actually own. But I stumbled across it in a used book store, and had to buy it.

And goodness, it was fascinating to reread it with my current perspectives! See, it deals with issues that I only discovered my interest in through fandom: issues generally explored in the genre of genderfuck. I was not properly appreciative of it at the time of my first reading!

Cut for various spoilers about the book )
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Thing One: Fandom is changing me in ways that I never expected. I just read a fic for which it took me till two paragraphs before the end to realize that it was in SECOND PERSON. IDEK.

Thing Two: Um. Apparently I am capable of deriving satisfaction out of proofreading latin texts. All of the joys of MAKING THINGS BETTER with none of the annoyance of being distracted by what the text is actually saying! (fifty pages in, and all I can say is that it's, um, possibly about alchemy?)

Thing Three: You definitely do not want to go look at a comment thread on a previous post of mine, here, because I in no way wrote commentfic there about Sherlock and the Doctor. Nope. Not at all.
sophia_sol: Blair Sandburg, with text that says "this is my Serious Academic face" (TS: Blair: Serious Acaface)
This weekend I was talking to my dad about fandom, as one does (er, as I do, at least...), and I was telling him about my Character Trait Analysis Chart Of Awesome. I listed off all the traits from it (rewording the "Emotionally fucked up" one, because I never swear and using that term would have derailed the conversation in a different direction entirely....) and he looked at me and said, "so basically you're describing yourself." And I went "...." and then I went "Gosh. Wow. You're right. HOW DID I NOT NOTICE?"

And then I was all, OF COURSE! This makes SO MUCH SENSE! Of course my favourite characters are those I identify with, and of course I identify with the characters who are most like me! OH DUH!

So thank you, Dad, for helping me come to this IMPORTANT REALIZATION.

In a different part of my conversation with Dad about fandom, I was just talking, you know, words coming out of my mouth because I'm trying to explain something about myself that I don't entirely understand, and then I start paying attention to the words and it's like, OH! Of course! I've probably danced about the subject on this LJ before, but never really stated it outright because I was never quite fully conscious of it. The "it" of which I speak: I use fanfiction as a way to engage with and deal with theological questions I'm having about my faith.

Finding a way to deal with Paul that doesn't involve me hating him? Check. Trying to work out the real-world applicability of pacifism? Check. Trying to come to a conclusion about the nature of Jesus? Check, or at least soon to be. (Yes, I'm writing a fic in which Jesus is a main character. Yes, it's the same fic as the Highlander fic I'm working on right now. No, I am TOTALLY NOT ASHAMED of this crossover, because it TOTALLY NEEDED TO HAPPEN.)

I mean, I don't always agree with the conclusions of my fics, since they go in the direction that the story needs instead of the direction that my theology dictates, but being able to engage with the ideas on a personal level like this? Is really useful, I think.

Year One

Jun. 23rd, 2010 01:20 pm
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (DW: Donna: hug me I'm awesome)
Today is the first anniversary of this LJ! PARTAY TIME!

It's kind of hard to believe that it's one year! It simultaneously feels both far shorter and far longer.

Arguments for shorter: I'm still so new in fandom! Hardly anybody knows me! I've barely done anything! I'm still too shy to post reviews on most of the fic I read! If I'd been in fandom for a whole year, I'd be better at this whole fandom thing!

Arguments for longer: These days I have trouble imagining my life WITHOUT this LJ as an outlet for my fannishness! I've tried all sorts of new things! I've gotten to know some really amazing people! (dear flist: I love you! <3333) I feel like I'm actually a part of fandom!

Okay, that's enough abuse of exlamation marks for now.

But seriously, I am so thrilled to have been here for the last year. I have read so much, watched so much, learned so much, enjoyed so much. Coming out of the woodwork to actually be a part of fandom instead of just an inveterate lurker was one of the best decisions I've made.

And I look forward to seeing what the next year will bring.

My year in review )

Most Popular Tags

Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 05:45 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios