sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Oh lord, it's been five full years I've been active in online fandom. I lurked for absolute ages beforehand, but it is five years ago last month that I decided I needed to make myself a fannish LJ following the release of the Star Trek reboot, that I had lurked long enough and it was time to make my debut.

What a good decision that was! I've had such good times in fandom over the years. I have made wonderful friends, I have grown a great deal as a writer (I might moan about my current inadequacies, but I am so much better than I was five years ago), I have discovered the joy of podficcing, I have chatted and squeed and live-watched and read and written and thought and recced and participated. Fandom sustained me through some harder times; fandom was also there to be a repository of joy. I've not always been consistent about my degree of participation nor my manner of participation, but fandom has been a major part of my life the last five years and I am so grateful for it.

THANK YOU to all of you for helping make it so wonderful an experience!
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Thing One: Reading capslock commentfic is SO WEIRD. I can't help but hear it all in my head as KIND OF SHOUTY AND VERY EMPHASIZED and when every single sentence of a story is like that it's just...it's WEIRD. Especially since LOUD AND EMPHATIC is totally not the right tone for, like, pining and stuff.

Plus my brain does not have as much experience interpreting capslock as it does regular text, so I cannot read it nearly as fast as stuff written in conventional patterns of upper and lower case -- so I get frustrated by how slow I have to go if I want to catch everything that's written!

Capslock is fine (and indeed awesome! I mean, I do use it kind of a lot!) for words and phrases and the occasional sentence, but an ENTIRE FIC in capslock is just too much for me.


Thing Two: I H8 U, whoever it was on the internet who pointed out how often fanfic sex scenes go:
-blowjob by person A
-reciprocation via handjob by person B

Until I saw this pointed out I did not notice, but now I CANNOT UNSEE IT. IT IS EVERYWHERE. I did not need more reasons to roll my eyes during sex scenes!

And now I am sharing this knowledge with you, dear readers, so that you can suffer too. I share because I care? :P


Thing Three: I use the word "eh" all the time when I am talking -- I am totally a stereotypical Canadian like that -- but coming across it being used in fic actually throws me out of the story. I have two theories about why! One: I'm so used to reading about characters from other parts of the world that I've never actually encounted "eh" in written dialogue much before, and so it looks unnatural, because I'm so used to it being a verbal-only thing? (and even in Canadian-written stuff, "eh" is pretty informal and writing tends to be more formal than speech so it still doesn't get written down much.) Two: the usage of "eh" in fic might not actually be accurate to how I am used to it being used, because a lot of the fic is probably not being written by actual Canadians?

I'm not sure how right the second one is, though, because a) I have no actual idea what nationalities the various authors are, and b) I no longer remember which fics I've come across "eh" in so I can't go analyze the usage. It's kind of hilarious, though, how long it took me to figure out how I do use it -- it's instinctive and automatic, and I've never had to think about it before! But I did finally figure it out. I put it at the end of declarative statements to invite agreement (or disagreement) and further discussion from the listening party. Like "The weather's quite something, eh?" or "We should probably clean the apartment, eh?"

And okay, looking at what I just wrote, those sentences look wrong even though I have used pretty much THOSE EXACT SENTENCES out loud before. So I think I can say without hesitation that whether or not my second hypothesis has any value, my first one definitely does.


Thing Four: Today I decided to take another go at leg-shaving just so I could experience the silky-smoothness people seem to like about it, and borrowed Mara's marginally-less-crappy razor to do it. And DUDE. My legs feel SO WEIRD. Kind of like they're not actually there, or aren't mine, or aren't real or something! I went for a walk today and as my skirt swished against the shaved legs it felt wrong; the touch is muted and different and it's just -- gosh. Who knew hair makes such a difference in sensation!


Thing Five: There's that meme going around where you list all the songs you've stolen from been inspired by to title your fics. Here are mine!

1. "Getting What You Want" -- "You can't always get what you want" (I have no idea, it's one of those songs where I just know how the chorus goes because it's presumably well-known or something)
2. "If Love Is What You're After" -- "Give yourself to love" (Kim Thiessen (written by someone else, though))
3. "As The Sea Will Allow" -- "Wave over wave" (Great Big Sea (well, traditional, I think))
4. "How Far We've Come" -- I don't remember anymore! It was a song my beta linked me to and it fit really well and then...I promptly forgot the song
5."You'll Never Know Until You're There" -- "Pas de cheval" (Panic! At The Disco (though I suppose at the time of this song they were lacking the exclamation mark. WHATEVER, I like their dorky punctuation and I'm keeping it in))
6. "But We Yearn For It" -- "A few simple words" (Grit Laskin)
7."My Mind Is A Safe" -- "27" (Fall Out Boy)

And this is not mentioning the poems and plays and sayings I've used for my titles! What I mean to say is, I am bad at coming up with titles and generally resort to borrowing other people's words....
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
I am clearly a very bad match for hockey fandom, because everyone's all gung-ho about hockey the SPORT as well as writing fic about hockey players, and me? I couldn't care less. Okay I care about whether Canada wins gold in olympic hockey every four years but that is literally the only hockey I care about even a little, and I don't even care enough to actually watch the games. It is like back when I got into bandom and didn't care about the music! I SOON LEARNED OTHERWISE THERE, but that? is not a thing that will happen for me in hockey.

Besides, I can tell my hockey rpf infatuation is going to fizzle out soon, because already I am getting tired of learning about more and more new people I've never heard of. Plus the way that all the fics are about people who are SUPER INTO SPORTS gets kind of frustrating. So. I will still read the occasional fic! (like. I think I heard there's an upcoming epic-length Tazer/Kaner arranged marriage type thing? I WILL BE ALL OVER THAT.) But I am heading towards done with the bingeing.

(It is like what happened to me recently with Suits! I don't think I ever mentioned it? I was SUPER INTO Suits for a few days, but now I only read fic every now and then. Although the reason is somewhat different! With Suits I am creeped out by the dynamics in a lot of the fic. Because ABUSE OF POWER in that relationship, holy god. It is even worse than most boss/employee relationships and that is SAYING SOMETHING. I just find unequal power dynamics really skeevy unless they are very definitely consensual. I really do love reading about CONSENSUAL power dynamics! But when the one person has THAT MUCH POWER over everything about the other person's life, and the second person has no real choice about that fact? NO THANK YOU.)

(I was trying to explain once why I really like slavefic, and I was all, IT IS SO GREAT WHEN THEY ARE FINALLY EQUALS AT THE END ♥__♥, and the person I was talking to was like, "you do know that's not why most people read slavefic, right???")

(But it's just so awesome! Like the one where it's a space AU and Bill is a virgin sex-slave Gabe rescues, and Gabe knows better than to have sex with newly-rescued sex slaves, no matter how tempting they are and even if they ask for it! And I'm like YES THANK YOU OMGGGGGG.)
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Thing One: It is clear to me that y'all have opinions about music, so if you want to you should head over to [personal profile] synecdochic's post about the best 100 albums of the last 30 years so you can nominate your 15 top choices!

Thing Two: You know, sometimes I get all...idk, overly worked-up over the complexities of navigating conversations and social interactions and relationships online, and stay away from comments in fear of, like, getting something wrong. But then when I successfully force myself to get over myself and just damn talk to people, it's always a really fun and rewarding experience. I need to REMEMBER THIS.

Thing Three: ...Huh. Apparently somewhere along the way I accidentally got fond of I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love? I kept on trying to like it and kept on failing, and eventually gave up on it. But on a whim I included it in my shuffle on iTunes today, and when the songs pop up I'm finding myself kind of enjoying them, for the most part! I guess they just needed extra time to percolate in my head before I could like them or something?
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Hah, the problem with posting posts that are mostly thoughts instead of mostly squee is that then people reply with wonderful thoughtful comments, and then I have to come up with intelligent things to say in response!

Which is to say, this is why I haven't posted the last couple of days. I WILL get back to those comments on my last post, but meanwhile I have been itching to do my usual posting-random-thoughts thing.

Thing One: In "Things I am surprised it's taken me so long to notice": a properly clean and well-oiled cast-iron frying pan works remarkably well as a mirror. This is a detail I now want to work into some kind of historical fiction, except I don't write historical fic on account of all that research I don't do because I'm so lazy. So instead I'll just leave this sitting here in my journal as a random fact.

Thing Two: WELL. Remember how, back when I was getting into bandom and discovering that I didn't OTP anything because I shipped ALL THE SHIPS, I wondered if that would translate into my other fandoms as well? It turns out that bandom has successfully rerouted my brain. I mean, there are still things that I ship pretty hard, but apparently I am also a lot more easygoing (more easy...?) for other ships now. I count this as a good thing!

Thing Three: In "Headcanon that it amuses me to think about": Clearly "After The Last Midtown Show" is about William/Gabe. What? What else am I supposed to think when William's singing about romance and Gabe's old band, and there are no pronouns specified? :D
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
I need to learn to pay attention to warnings like "references to past character death" at the tops of fics and steel myself, so that discovering halfway into a fic that a beloved character is dead doesn't hit me so hard. *wibbles*

In other news, Janelle Monae really knows how to rock a tuxedo. I could stare at that woman for a long, long time.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
I think part of the reason I am babbling about bandom so much here (god, I have babbled so much about bandom here, and this is only a small fraction of the babbling I am doing in my head) is that I can't babble to Essie, because RPF is not a thing she is comfortable with and I am ~trying to restrain myself~ (and, um, not always succeeding SORRY ESSIE I AM DOING MY BEST I JUST HAVE ALL THESE FEELINGS).

SO HAVE MORE BANDOM BABBLING.


Thing One: Dude. DUDE. So yesterday evening I had the vague thought (when I was bookmarking a Patrick/Bob fic and thinking to myself "oh look another pairing to add to my list", and then it turned out I already had four Patrick/Bob fics bookmarked) to check just how many bandom ships I have bookmarked so far. And I was at 104. ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR different ships! And this number is only going to go UP, I am perfectly sure! This is ridiculous. But all of the ships are awesome. I CAN'T EVEN. (today I read epic-length Frank/Gerard/Grant Morrison. I don't even know who Grant Morrison is besides Some Important Dude In Comics, and I don't care, because the fic was awesome.)


Thing Two: AHAHA, every single time I listen to FOB's Folie a Deux, and the opening few seconds of "I Don't Care" start playing, I think to myself, "ooh, I really like this! I should go see what song it is, so I can remember!" and then I switch over to iTunes and headdesk because RIGHT. THIS ONE. I ALREADY KNOW I LIKE THIS ONE. (I do the same thing with the line "I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me" -- YES OKAY IT'S "The (Shipped) Gold Standard" I SHOULD GODDAMN KNOW THAT ALREADY)


Thing Three: Every time the opening of "Sing" on MCR's Danger Days starts up, my brain interprets it as the opening of the Due South theme song. EVERY TIME. Even after SIXTEEN TIMES of listening to the cd. I can't even judge anymore whether the openings of the two songs are actually at all similar, or if my brain is just making mad connections of its own, but I CANNOT HEAR ANYTHING ELSE.


Thing Four: Okay, I just checked my bandom tag, and apparently I've only actually posted about bandom 15 times, and the first post was like a month and a half ago, so that's not really THAT much. Or maybe it is a lot. I DON'T KNOW. Anyways. I've been in bandom for A MONTH AND A HALF. DUDE. It does NOT feel like it's been that long! I still feel as much in the early obsessive stages of fandom love as if it were only a few days ago. BANDOM: APPARENTLY IT'S MY NEXT BIG THING, GUYS.

Maybe it's just a, mmm, a summer thing? Last summer I picked up Highlander, and the summer before that was Due South, and the summer before THAT was Man from UNCLE, and -- okay, SGA wasn't the summer before that, SGA was in the middle of winter, but SGA was the fandom that started all this so it's allowed to be pattern-breaking. (and Doctor Who was -- well, the summer before the summer before that.) And these fandoms are more or less a Greatest Hits list for me. I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A PATTERN, is what I'm saying.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Soooo instead of catching up on the internet this week I did a few vaguely productive things in between doing a lot of not-very-productive things, and then got more DENTAL SURGERY, always my favourite thing ughhhhhh.

So now instead of catching up on the internet I am consoling myself and my hurty mouth by having an appalling number of tags open with ridiculous quantities of bandom fic, which I am reading ALL OF. How is there so much amazing bandom fic in the world? I ask you!

But I just had a moment of complete and bizarre disorientation, where I was reading a fic and all of a sudden I was like, WTF WHY IS THIS NOT SGA THIS MAKES NO SENSE THERE IS NO POINT. For maybe half a second my brain was utterly convinced that there is no reason or purpose in the world to read fic for any fandom but SGA (which was my first media-fandom and slash-fandom love). Then my brain switched back into gear. But -- dude, if that half-second feeling is how monofannish people always feel? I think I can almost understand why they do what they do. Kind of. But wow. That was weird.

And really I think I'm happier as I am. I mean, my magpie behaviour with respect to fandoms is frustrating sometimes, because it means that I never get the same level and depth of familiarity with a fandom and its source that a long-term fan would have, and I don't get that same integration into the fandom's community, but I like it, the knowledge that there's always something else new and shiny around the corner, that fandom is full of vast untapped resources, that I'll never get bored.

But still, that half-second was -- disorienting. Like, what if I were that person, the one who fell for SGA back in early 2008 and proceeded to be dedicated to SGA alone for the last 3 ½ years? I bet by this point I would have actually watched all of the eps. I bet by this point I would have gotten familiar enough with the characters to get over my paralyzing fear that I'm incapable of writing decent characterizations and actually attempted serious longish fic that has actual character development and stuff. I bet by this point I would have succeeded in back-organizing all my old SGA Delicious tags.

But whatevs, that person is not me. Me, I'm grinning madly* at the ridiculous amazingness of bandom stuff, with the full knowledge that within [choose one: a day/a week/a month/a few months] I will get distracted and be all over in love with something else entirely.


*metaphorically speaking. GRINNING HURTS. STUPID DENTAL SURGERY. How am I supposed to properly appreciate fic when I can't make besotted faces at the computer screen?
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
So I keep on writing stuff up and not posting it, because
1. LJ's been having issues and it feels WEIRD to post something to DW that doesn't crosspost to LJ
2. I have some comments I need to reply to and also other people's posts I want to reply to and I always feel weird posting when that happens, like, "lalala I have enough time to write up ridiculously long posts but I don't care enough about my friends to actually engage in conversation" -- in other words, it makes me feel very self-centred.
-1. Except for the fic I just posted because for some reason fic falls in another category of thing, and it's okay to just post it. Because it's DONE and that's EXCITING and I want to SHARE.

But I am posting this non-fic post anyways because
1. It feels weird to not post stuff at all
2. I keep on writing stuff up and I CANNOT SHUT UP ABOUT THINGS, okay! I am very bad at not expounding at length on whatever is occupying my brainspace! SO NOW I AM SHARING IT.
3. And anyways it looks like LJ might be back? Although that still doesn't excuse me from the commenting thing. (ETA: apparently LJ's giving problems again, so never mind this bit!)
4. WHATEVER.


Thing One: I haven't been posting as much about bandom lately, but HAVE NO FEAR (or maybe BE VERY AFRAID), my ridiculous adoration continues unchecked. I am reading ALL OF THE FIC (...I am actually seriously just going through the "bandom" section of AO3 without bothering to filter by pairing or character or anything. YES I AM AWARE THAT I COULD NEVER ACTUALLY GET THROUGH ALL THE BANDOM FICS POSTED TO AO3. THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T MAKE A VALIANT EFFORT). I am listening to Panic and MCR on constant repeat and falling more and more in love with the music. I am accidentally naming unrelated fics in unrelated fandoms after lines from Panic songs, for crying out loud, when the song isn't even particularly related to the fic. (PAY NO ATTENTION to the title of that Eagle fic I just posted *cough*).

So LET'S MOVE ON, as I have nothing coherent or interesting to say on this topic.

Thing Two: Okay I CAN'T EVEN. I was reading this fic the other day, I don't even remember what fic it was, or what it was about, some bandom au or something, the important thing is this: there was a brief off-hand one-sentence mention of "Gerard of Wales". And I just about killed myself laughing, because HELLO HISTORICAL ALLUSION. THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE. Because GERARD WAY AS GERALD OF WALES will never not be a hilariously amazing idea. A++, author!

Thing Three: So apparently this post is going to be all about bandom, and X-Men can wait till next time. I've been listening to the first two MCR cds now too, instead of just obsessively repeating Danger Days and Black Parade. On the first listen-through I just heard noise, as I did on my first listen of Danger Days and Black Parade. But now I've been repeating them enough that I'm actually hearing them for what they are, so that's good. I've listened to them both about the same number of times, and have come to really like Three Cheers, but Bullets not quite as much -- as I keep listening to Bullets, I hear elements of stuff that I like but overall I'm not nearly as fond.

Which is fascinating! Because it proves that it's not just about how if you listen to something enough times you learn to like it -- there IS still an element of personal taste involved. So that's interesting! Although I'm disappointed that I don't like Bullets as much as the other albums. Ah well. At least there's three whole other albums to console me.

Thing Four: I've been thinking further about OTPs and me, given bandom's abrupt shattering of my usual way of functioning wrt OTPs. Okay. In most fandoms I have a specific pairing that I OTP pretty hard, and although I will sometimes read fic outside that OTP it generally involves at least one of the characters from the OTP because hey, I love the characters, but that means that although I might enjoy the fic, it is with a background feeling the entire time that the character is betraying their true love.

In bandom, on the other hand, there are some pairings that I particularly enjoy reading (Brendon/Spencer, Gerard/Frank, Pete/Patrick), but if those pairings are broken up I don't care in the slightest. And I'm also just as happy to read about any of the other characters. It's like, I truly believe that love is possible in any permutation or combination of characters in bandom! IDEK, but it's magical.

I have no idea if I will succeed in carrying over this attitude towards pairings into my future fandoms, butI will be interested to see!
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Today I decided that instead of just obsessively listening to youtube playlists of Panic! at the Disco music, I should do something about it. So I have now acquired their three albums, and proceeded to listen to them as discrete items instead of just all the music all mixed up with each other. And wow, there's actually a fair amount of difference. The second album is WAY mellower than the first one, for instance, and frankly if I didn't know it was the same band I wouldn't have pegged it as such. And I mean, I like both of them! But I can't imagine what it must have been like for fans of the first album, when the second one came out and it was so different from the first one. I'm perfectly familiar with the tendency to hate the new album of a favourite artist when it comes out, just because it's new and you don't know all the songs by heart yet so you haven't yet managed to develop the proper fondness for them. And that's when there's been no style change at all between the two albums, and it's so much worse when there IS a change.

(I feel like I can't quite comment on the third album in relation to the first two; I haven't listened to the albums enough to be able to keep all three in my head at the same time, whereas comparing two things to each other is easier.)

I feel kind of foolish talking about this stuff now, in 2011, when what I'm talking about is news YEARS OLD and I'm sure was discussed to death at the time. WHATEVER. Getting into fandoms late: it's kind of a habit of mine.

And you know, it feels kind of inevitable in retrospect that I'd get into bandom. Because, I mean, when I was big into SGA (my first non-HP fandom, and my first entry into media fandom in general, and into slash fandom) I would see references around occasionally to the history of fandom and how SGA kind of inherited its adoration of massive AUs and crackfics from bandom. And, well, I'm really easy for AU and crack.

But it's odd, because I'm doing these fandoms backwards, so I'm reading bandom fic and not really thinking there's any kind of unusual preponderance of AUs or crack. But I'm pretty sure that SGA broke my calibrations in that regard, and all I'm likely to notice is if a fandom doesn't have the AUs and crack. So.

Anyways, I don't even know where I'm going with this! Except to say that I feel really weird for getting into bandom and for getting into Panic! at the Disco's music, because I'm just not used to being the kind of person who listens to music that anyone else in the world has actually HEARD OF, you know? It's like, I'm actually allowed to like popular music? Really? And it's hard to get out of that mindset. I almost feel like I'm embarrassed for liking Panic, and I don't really have any reason to be, right? IDK.

In other Panic related news, they sure like their odd punctuation choices, don't they, what with their band's name, and the periods in "Pretty. Odd." Also I can't get over how hilariously awesome their song titles are ("The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage." "Build God, Then We'll Talk." And so forth). Except that the new album's song titles are mostly all short and boring so apparently that was just a Ryan thing, and I'm torn. Because on the one hand, AWESOME song titles, but on the other hand, simple ones that actually have close relationships with the songs make them easier to remember....

Also I'm pretty sure I need to give up and make myself a damn tag for this. When I posted my last post about them I went with my random other fandom tag, because I was in denial about how into them I've apparently gotten, but if I'm making another post, and so soon, then I think I have no denial left to hide behind.

...It's weird, I AM embarrassed about this new fandom of mine, though. Like, I'm actually feeling weird about posting this post, which I totally wouldn't be if it were another movie or tv show or book or something that I'd randomly gotten into. IDK, maybe it's just that I know so little about any music except for folk music that I feel like I'm trying to butt into some aspect of popular culture where I don't actually belong? IDK, IDK. Whatever. I'm just going to stop letting myself waffle and just post this damn thing, which has, by the way, gotten RATHER longer than I intended it to...
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Thing One: I'm away for the weekend. Victoria Day weekend, yo! That's right, we celebrate the birthday of a dead queen but not the birthday of our reigning monarch, that's how Canada rolls. Which means: CAMPING! (Yes, in May. Yes, some years there is frost. Yes, it is fun anyways.)

Thing Two: I am fascinated by how fast one picks up linguistic tics from the people with whom one hangs out. And by "one" I totally don't just mean "I". Nope. (and the really freaky thing is that I didn't notice. Or rather, I noticed that I was saying things I don't normally say, but could not for the life of me figure out why until [personal profile] sentientcitizen kindly enlightened me.)

Thing Three: Buffy spoilers again! )

Thing Four: A vid that needs to be watched: Shock the Monkey, by [personal profile] giandujakiss. It is a very well done look at the really unsettling aspects of Hawaii Five-0 that I mentioned earlier. It makes me cringe every time I watch it, and I CANNOT STOP WATCHING IT. And yet I still like this show? WHYYYYYYY, self?

Thing Five: I'm pretty sure it's time for me to do some housekeeping in my journals. Rearranging who I'm following on LJ vs DW; fixing some tags that need help; replacing the icons that need replacing; updating my masterlist; that sort of thing. But I keep getting distracted by shiny things!

Thing Six: So I finally shared a link for this journal with my sister (Hello, my darling sister! I'm sorry I haven't been emailing!), which felt a little weird. Because then I went back to the beginning of my archives and began to reread some of those early posts to see what she was reading, and I kept on being like, NO, YOUNGER SELF, NO, and being horribly embarrassed. And that was only two years ago. Makes me glad I didn't start my fannish LJ when I was 14 or something. I bet there'd be SO MUCH to be embarrassed over.

(except I kind of wish I HAD, actually, because I don't remember very well what I was actually thinking back then, and it would be nice to have that sort of record for my own better knowledge of myself! Even if I would die in embarrassment reading it.)

Thing Seven: It has become apparent to me that I DO need to do a deconstruction of Lady Gaga's "Judas", because otherwise it won't leave me alone. AFTER CAMPING. Yes.

Thing Eight: I NEED TO STOP WITH THE THINGS. I think most of my posts lately have been all things all the time. But I just have so much to talk about! And I think this post might have a record number of things in it too!
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (DW: Master: hello madness)
I am visiting my extended family for easter this weekend. Doctor Who's first episode of the season airs this weekend. DILEMMA! Do I:

a) not watch it till I'm back home, and avoid all spoilers till then
b) not watch it till I'm back home, but avidly spoiler myself as soon as possible
c) say screw you to my family and sequester myself for an hour to watch the episode right away

All of these have their pros and cons.

I am usually a very spoiler-happy person, as you probably know. I spoiler myself wilfully and gleefully. But Doctor Who is so very much my happy place, and I know that I am easily influenced by other people's thoughts, and I am concerned that if I read people's reaction posts and they aren't entirely joyful, then my squee will be harshed upon my later watching of the episode. If I could guarantee all the reactions would be solely squee, then I'd totally spoiler myself with pleasure. But I can't!

But on the other hand, DO I HAVE THE WILLPOWER TO RESUST THE ALLURE OF SPOILERS? I sincerely doubt it.

It would all be solved if I could just watch the episode right away, but I don't know whether I'll be able to find the time to do that in a house stuffed full with 15 people, most of them extroverts....

Well, off I go. Tomorrow I leave bright and early with my grandparents for the long drive. I hope y'all have good weekends, whether you celebrate easter or not!

You and I

Apr. 15th, 2011 12:16 am
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
You and I are really just the same
Though you might think you're a little bit better
And when you fall don't look for me to blame
You hold the key
For the higher you think of me
Then the better your world will be.


This is the chorus to a song called "You and I" by The Duhks.* It is a song that, every time I listen to it, I start to think about what OTP of mine it fits. And, um, it fits a ridiculous number of them. If I have two main pairing types (and I do), then the chorus to this song does an excellent job of encapsulating one of the types.** Kronos/Methos, Methos/Duncan, Master/Doctor, Draco/Harry, Marcone/Dresden, etc etc, I'm sure you get the picture by this point. Anyways. Just felt like mentioning it, since it's something that's been on my mind for, oh, nearly two years.


*unfortunately, unlike other songs of theirs, I cannot find this one on youtube, so I can't link you.
**the other type is very straightforward: two people are best friends. Then they become romantic partners, growing naturally out of that friendship. (And ships that fit BOTH pairing types? I AM SO THERE.)

Fail.

Mar. 12th, 2011 11:31 pm
sophia_sol: Geoffrey with his head resting on a podium, with text saying "headdesk" (S&A: Geoffrey: *headdesk*)
So I was just rereading my fic If Love Is What You're After* and came to the really embarrassing realization that I talked about security tapes. Really, Sophia? Really? In this age of digital everything, you still believe that security cameras record their images onto a physical object (onto a TAPE, what), and do not transmit their videos digitally to any other location?

In my defense, White Collar did this too...



*Er. Yes, I reread my fic sometimes. Okay, kind of a lot. It's... a mix of motivations. Partly it's me wanting to keep on prodding it and myself, figuring out what I did wrong so I know what I need to pay attention to in future fics, and partly it's me enjoying the story and basking in the knowledge that yes I created this and it doesn't suck.

In fact, pretty much every time I get kudos or a review or a Delicious bookmark of one of my fics, I go back and reread it, as if to validate to myself that yes, it WAS in fact deserving of the praise. Because otherwise it's too easy to remember only the parts that suck, and I just sit there feeling horrifically embarrassed that someone actually read what I wrote because who would want to do that, I suck, I should delete the fic from the face of the internet and save everyone the trauma of reading it. And then I go and read it and go: Oh. Right. It does have some merit.

And wow, this is really embarrassing to admit all this. IDK, it feels like some sort of taboo, to admit that I like reading my own fics.

Actually, it's a little embarrassing to even admit that I go looking myself up on Delicious...

But now that I've raised the topic I might as well talk about it!

It's really fun/hilarious to see what sorts of things people choose to tag their bookmarks with! Sometimes it's perfectly straightforward and makes a lot of sense (like "emotionallyfucked" or "miscommunication"), and sometimes it makes me laugh out loud because it's so unexpected and yet if you look at it in a certain way it works. Like the way someone tagged If Love Is What You're After with "somnophilia". Not what I was going for but OKAY!

Also fun is to see what people choose to say in their descriptions. Like, a lot of people just quote the story summary, but other people add their thoughts as well, or quote their favourite lines, or summarize the story in their own words. And it gives a neat insight into what bits of the story really made an impression on people. Like the person whose summary of the story mentioned only Ariadne, and nothing about Arthur and Eames!

Which brings up another point: it was weird the first time I read a bookmark of one of my fics that had some uncomplimentary things to say. Because, of course, bookmarks are for oneself, not the author the way reviews are, so the bookmarker had no need to expand on what they meant. At first it made me all...indignant: they hadn't ~understood~ what I was doing with my fic! But then I calmed down and just wanted to have a conversation with that person about the bits they hadn't liked, so I could understand better what hadn't worked for them, and see if it was something I need to take into consideration in the future. But obviously that ain't gonna happen because, like I said, the bookmarks aren't for the author.

(It also got me thinking about something else entirely, that could be a whole meta post on its own so I won't get into it here)

Anyways! HOW DID THIS FOOTNOTE GET SO OUT OF HAND?

I'M ENDING IT NOW.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (DW: Master: hello madness)
It is vaguely astounding to think back and realize how different my relationship with fandom has become since I created my LJ. I mean, I didn't really think it'd change very much. And yet it's totally revolutionized my fannish experience.

And I was halfway into writing a nice long post about it all, only somehow it turned into filking. Oops. IDEK how this even happened!* So, uh, my filk doesn't encompass nearly everything the post was going to, but at least it has the virtue of relative brevity?

Sung to the tune of Kisses Sweeter Than Wine.

And, just because I can, a soundcloud recording of me singing it. (I'm not the most talented singer in the world, but I have some modicum of ability. Hopefully this sounds decent.)

Fandom Pwns Everything by trulysophiasol

Lyrics )


* That's a lie. I do know how it happened. The first paragraph began with the line "when I was a young fan", and my brain free-associated from that to the first line of Kisses Sweeter Than Wine, and then I got the song stuck in my head, and then I started wondering how a version that was about a fan instead of a man would go, and then I wrote the first verse (intending to have that just be an amusing footnote in the post), and then I couldn't stop myself from doing the rest of the song.
sophia_sol: Blair Sandburg, with text that says "this is my Serious Academic face" (TS: Blair: Serious Acaface)
The way one picks up language patterns fascinates me. No wait, let me be more specific: the way I pick up language patterns from common fannish and/or internet usage fascinates me.

Because I can see the osmosis happening, where f'rinstance I keep on seeing a particular acronym being used in a certain way, and without ever going and looking it up, I discover that I have an exact feel for the times in which it is to be used. And then I find out what the acronym means, and it makes perfect sense -- but half the time I don't even remember what the acronym stands for, because I don't need to. In my mind the acronym is the word, and I know what the word means even if I don't know what it stands for.*

And this is something that I can see happening far more than I can see it in real life. Well. My vocabulary is pretty large, as these things go. It's not very often I run into a word I don't know, and if I do, it's not one I'll run into often enough to be able to pick it up by osmosis. I've already more or less done my osmosising, when it comes to traditional english vocab.

So I can see the results of it in my understanding of the language, but I don't get to se it happen. (the results: I use a word. I know to the very depths of my soul that it is exactly the right word for the situation. I get questioned on it, I realize I haven't the faintest clue how to even begin defining it, but IT'S THE RIGHT WORD DAMNIT, IT JUST ~FEEEEELS~ RIGHT. I go look it up, discover the definition, and sit back with the satisfied knowledge that I was correct.)

And on the internet, vocab being what it is, I can watch this process from the beginning, because the language of the intarwebs is an ever-changing beast.

But it's about more than just vocab! It's about sentence construction, and stylistic choices, and all that -- and it too is influenced by the process of fannish osmosis. All of these are things** that are never formally taught, but nonetheless have certain rules of usage which pretty much everyone understands.

And this too is like me and Real Life Usage, because I -- weirdly enough -- was never ever (not even a little bit) taught formal English grammar in school. I don't know how I avoided it! But somehow I did, and everything I know about formal grammar I learned from second-language courses. And yet, nonetheless, I know perfectly well what the standard rules of English usage are, and use them instinctively. Osmosis at work again.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this, except perhaps to say that it is so cool, the things that our brains are capable of doing without conscious direction.



*An example: "QFT". I know when it gets used, and I know that the "F" surprisingly enough does not stand for "fucking", and I alllllways forget what it actually stands for. I've looked it up more than once, but it just doesn't MATTER. I'm pretty sure the T is for "truth" though, although that might just be a guess based on context.

** An example: the use of tildes to indicate an extremely specific type of emphasis.

OH SELF.

Jan. 20th, 2011 09:39 pm
sophia_sol: Geoffrey with his head resting on a podium, with text saying "headdesk" (S&A: Geoffrey: *headdesk*)
I am discovering that it is dangerous for me to listen to audiobooks in public, because it inevitably ends with me mouthing angry sentences to myself while I make hilarious frustrated faces and wave my arms about.* Yeah, way to look like a reasonable human being, Sophia.

Yes, okay, I totally talk to the characters in books and shows when they're being stupid in one way or another. Usually I can restrain myself into keeping it totally inside my head, but when it gets really bad I just can't stop myself. At least I don't actually talk aloud....

Well. I do when I'm in the privacy of my own home. I totally talk to the characters aloud then.


In the category of "other things about herself that make Sophia headdesk" is my violent allergy to misunderstandings between characters. Or rather, misunderstandings that lead to conversations at cross-purposes. OH DEAR LORD I CANNOT READ THEM. I opened a rec for what looked like a nice cheery au fic, discovered a few paragraphs in that the main conceit of the fic involves a terrible misunderstanding that leads to at least one and probably many more cross-purpose conversations, and went HELL NO and closed the tab. I am sure the fic is a lovely one! I'm just constitutionally incapable of reading it!

And yet as long as the misunderstanding doesn't persist into a conversation, then I am totally down with it -- I can in fact revel in the angst that the misunderstanding causes! Like for instance the misunderstanding at the heart of the climax of the fic I just finished. There is a misunderstanding, but it persists only for as long as the characters are apart -- as soon as they get the chance to talk to each other, it all gets cleared up.

I do not know why my brain makes this needless and frustrating distinction. But apparently it's an important one? IDEK.



*possibly this is a phenomenon strictly limited to the Dresden Files books. Dresden you really need to let someone else do your thinking for you sometimes. (Can Marcone be that person, please?)
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (DW: Donna: hug me I'm awesome)
Thing One: I HAVE SIGNED UP FOR YULETIDE!


Thing Two: Another installment of My Life In Conversations! I was skyping [livejournal.com profile] sentientcitizen, as one does, and this exchange occurred.

Me: *blathering about this odd Smallville crossover I stumbled across*
Essie: You know, "Clex" really sounds like the sort of thing you get from unprotected sex
Me: Heh, shipping as a venereal disease!
Essie: "So I was kinda drunk last night, and there was this guy, and when I woke up this morning I was like, man, Clark and Lex, that’s kinda hot"
Me: *dies laughing*

(Conversations with Essie OFTEN result in my dying of laughter. It's great.)


Thing Three: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY FANDOMS? I just have this modest little desire to become familiar with every fandom that Media Fandom has ever been interested in. Is that too much to ask? Is it? Is it? *sigh* It’s just – they almost ALL sound interesting, in all their various ways, and I could so easily be a fan of all of them, IF I ONLY HAD THE TIME. But I think that would take more time than I would have even if I devoted 48 hours every single day to fandom. Ahahahaha. *headdesk*

Some people are like, I really love This Fandom, for this that and the other reason. And I go, yeah, but That Fandom has these awesome things. And That Other Fandom has these awesome things. And I just want ALL THE AWESOME.

Apparently I want to play the X-Treme Sport version of polyfannishness? IDEK.


Thing Four: You know what is pure torture? Having to restrict the number of tabs I have open at a given time. My computer, bless its evil little soul, has decided that if I have too many open then it’s just going to take FOREVER AND A DAY to do the simplest of things, and going all "not responding" at the slightest of provocations. No longer can I bask in the free and easy life of having something like 50 tabs open! Now I must restrict myself to approximately ten at most or my computer says "Nuh uh! You should know better than that! I shall now teach you a lesson!" (My computer’s name: Bunbury. I do not think it deserves such an awesome name anymore. Possibly it needs to be renamed, to something like Beelzebub.)

This is hard, curtailing my tabs. How else am I to remember what links I still need to come back to, whether to read or to comment or to bookmark or whatever? This means that I can’t open a tab unless I know I’ll be able to close it again in the not too distant future, which -- that is generally a time commitment I DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE. *flails*

(Earlier today I had 15 tabs open and my computer was glaring at me in a warning fashion. I needed to close about ten of them in order to make the Yuletide sign-up page actually be willing to function for me. This was a PAINFUL experience.)


Thing Five: So Daniel Radcliffe just went up about ten million coolness points in my eyes. (…yes, I have that song memorized too. Tom Lehrer FTW!)


Thing Six: A party last night proved conclusively that that Smallville vid to Bad Romance has managed to cure me of my dislike for the song. UNEXPECTED and awesome.

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