sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Dear heteronormativity,

Can you please stop influencing me?

I met a nice young man tonight who's recently moved into the area and he seems a really cool dude and I think it would be great to be friends with him. He's definitely into girls (he mentioned an ex-girlfriend) and he doesn't seem to currently be dating anyone.

And my hindbrain immediately goes: OOH DATING PROSPECT MAYBE.

NO. NO. INCORRECT. I have no desire to be dating a person, whatever their gender, however awesome they are. I am not romantically into this dude. I never will be.

But I can't shut off the part of my brain that thinks that I need to be finding myself a dating partner because obviously that's how life works. Heteronormativity, you can just go fuck yourself, thanks.

No love,

Sophia
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
so hey I wrote a thing on tumblr and forgot to post it over here as well. WHOOPS, FIXING THAT.

All too often when I come across people talking about asexuality, there's a "but don't forget to talk about how ace people can have sex too! and enjoy it!" thing. And that's understandable - after all there ARE ace people who have sex, and ace people who enjoy having sex.

But here's the thing: when I come across that kind of interjection, over and over and over again, it feels to me like it is just re-emphasizing what society already tells me: society says, "everybody has sex!" and this says, "everybody has sex, even ace people, so there is no excuse!"

And I'd just really like the acknowledgement, sometimes, that it is okay that I have never had sex and have zero interest or intent to change that at any point in my life.

When one person says, "ace people don't experience sexual attraction," and someone else always immediately jumps in with, "but they can still have sex!" it makes me feel like my experience of being ace is less important. Like what's important is to make sure the sexual world understands that we the ace community acknowledge the importance of sex in everyone's lives!!!!!

It's akin to how when you wander the asexuality tag on AO3, the majority of fics are rated explicit for sexual content. What? What? Why is having sex the most important thing to talk about when talking about being ace?

I know it's important to have some of this kind of discourse out there - after all, it IS the lived experience of plenty of ace people. But there's also the rest of us, and I for one would really like to not experience the pressure to have sex even in supposedly pro-ace conversations.
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
I was having a bad day so I was like, "You know what can fix this? PIE AND FOUND FAMILY."

Title: you bought the whole pie
Author: [personal profile] verity
Podficcer: [personal profile] sophia_sol
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Characters: Derek, ensemble
Length: 10:14
Summary: "'It's tough rattling around the house all by myself,' the Sheriff says. "You boys are coming to dinner on Sunday nights from now on. Erica, too. You look like you could some feeding up. Do you eat anything aside from pie?'

"'Yes?' Derek says. He's not really sure how they ended up here, or how all that pie went so fast."

Download at mediafire
or
Stream at AO3
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Betas are wonderful magical beings of whom I could sing praises forever, or at least a very long time. In this case, [personal profile] kiki_eng was the marvelous person who helped make this fic so much better than it would have otherwise been. Thank you!

Title: Like Drinking Salt Water
Fandom: Bandom (Panic! At the Disco)
Characters: Brendon/Jon and Ryan
Length: ~2.3k words
Content notes: swearing, kissing
Summary: "Ryan!" Brendon gets up from the table at Starbucks where he's been lurking and waiting and distractedly watching the cute barista dude. He bounds over to Ryan, and attacks him with a hug. "I haven't seen you for ages!" (A college AU)

Read it on AO3

Read it here )

!!!!

Jul. 4th, 2011 09:31 am
sophia_sol: Ace of hearts leaning against stack of books (Ace)
PRIDE PARADE. IN TORONTO. I WENT TO IT YESTERDAY. SLdijfkhsdlkjfskdlfhk IT WAS AWESOME AND I AM SO GLAD I WENT. Okay and now I will do my best to stop capslocking so that this is actually readable.

And the rest of this is cut on account of the tl;dr )
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Thing One:I had this really great dream last night about discovering an amazing tv show with an awesome woman as the main character. I discovered it via reading someone's squee post about it, and was reading down the excited explanations of all that was awesome about her, and then I got to the line, "And best of all, she's ace," and I went ALKDHFSLKDHJLD and then my alarm went off. I was pretty upset at my alarm, let me tell you! And also pretty upset at the world that this tv show with an asexual woman as the main character doesn't exist. I WANT THIS TV SHOW.

Thing Two: Have seen more Buffy. SPOILERS )

Thing Three: An enjoyable yet unproductive use of an evening: to sit around and listen to two comic nerds nerd out over comics. I know bits and pieces through having known [personal profile] sentientcitizen for nearing on a decade, but the sheer volume of canon that got referenced in that conversation was incredible. And every other thing made me burst out into laughter because, oh, comics. They are so cracky. I love them so much.

(you get exchanges like, "is she dead right now?" "No, she's stuck inside a bullet in space." Which. OH COMICS.)

I think if I were an actual reader of comics, a lot of things about them would frustrate me. But hearing about them from an outside source? So much fun!
sophia_sol: Ace of hearts leaning against stack of books (Ace)
I was going to write that post on What Being Mennonite Means To Me, except then I was reminded of the Carnival of Aces and I went, wait, I totally need to write something for that. So this is a post for Carnival of Aces, Round 2. Because my Mennonite identity is important to me, and my asexual identity is important to me, and those two parts of my identity are for the most part closed off from each other.

In which I talk at length about Mennonite culture (it's a culture too, not just a religion) and asexuality. )
sophia_sol: Ace of hearts leaning against stack of books (Ace)
So there is a fic I am making vague stabs at trying to write. It is not going very well. This is in part because I lack some crucial information! Namely, what is it like to experience sexual attraction?

And so I turn to you for help! Are you a person who experiences sexual attraction? I would like to hear from you! What does sexual attraction feel like for you (physically? mentally? emotionally?)? When do you experience it? How often do you experience it? Do you experience it every time you see a person you would categorize as "hot" or just people you are interested in, or some third option? Do you enjoy the experience? Do you ever wish it would just go away? Is there anything else that I'm not thinking to ask because I don't know enough to ask it?

Basically I just would love anything you could tell me about what sexual attraction is like for you. And it would be wonderful to get responses from multiple people, so I can try to extrapolate outwards from multiple data points to get a fuller picture of what it is like! I am happy with long or short answers, with or without TMI, and you can of course comment anonymously if you wish.

(Also, while I'm at it, just for my own interest, would you be able to explain what it is that is enjoyable/appealing about kissing? I'm just so curious!)
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (Default)
Thing One: spoilers for Buffy season two. Um, I think the episode is called  ) In conclusion: I have been saying this for a while but I totally need a BtVS icon. BUT I CAN'T LOSE ANY OF MY CURRENT ICONS. WOE. This shall require further thought.


Thing Two: So APPARENTLY The Eagle is a recent indifferent-quality-but-super-slashy movie. I had heard this. I went, "meh," and moved on with my life. Then I found out it was about a Roman dude and his Briton slave, and went, hang on, this might be interesting. Then I found out that it's based on Eagle of the Ninth, a book that I read waaaaaay back as a small child and remember none of the details of except that it was awesome, and went, HUH. Then I was alerted to the fact that someone wrote fic for the movie IN LATIN.* Then I started reading fic.

HELLO NEW FANDOM. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU. (but the social and sexual mores of Romans vs Britons is so interesting! And the dynamic between the characters is so amazing (and adorable)! And okay I'm kind of a sucker for classical history!)


Thing Three: There is a comment meme for asexual characters over at asexual_fandom! So far ALL the fills are awesome, and I am deeply in love with every single fill PROMPT for all the fandoms I recognize and half the ones for the fandoms I don't recognize. I dunno if there are any interested parties on my flist/rlist who don't already read asexual_fandom, but I felt this should be highlighted anyways. Because it is AWESOME.


*Not that I can read Latin. It's just an excellent sign of a fandom's dedication to history-nerdery.
sophia_sol: Wee!Amelia Pond, looking up when she hears the TARDIS (DW: Amelia: look up in hope)
I am not catching myself up on my flist and rlist from being gone for an extended Easter weekend. SO MUCH TO DO IN MY REAL LIFE. SO BUSY. AHHHHH. (I hate moving. Why do I own so much clothing? Why do I own so many books? And why does there have to be MOLD on a bunch of my books? DO NOT WANT!) But! I cannot resist posting more about Doctor Who. Because let's face it, when can I ever resist ANYTHING to do with Doctor Who's awesomeness?

So here is a bunch of spoilery discussion of The Impossible Astronaut. )
sophia_sol: Ace of hearts leaning against stack of books (Ace)
Recovering from a concussion and dental surgery at the same time is the most boring thing ever. I can't DO anything. Except read fic. I can do that.

Speaking of reading fic!

I recently read a very wonderful Sherlock fic, and enjoyed it muchly (I recommend it, in fact!), but it was clear to me that my reading protocols are different than what the author expected. Namely, I read with a vague expectation that of course Sherlock is asexual. And this entirely changes the meaning of the fic's ending. spoilers for the fic while I explain what I mean. )
sophia_sol: Blair Sandburg, with text that says "this is my Serious Academic face" (TS: Blair: Serious Acaface)
Remember how yonks ago I promised I'd share with you my final essay from my course on Queer Theory, the one that I wrote about fandom? I told you I would post it after the new year? Yeah, um, a month and a half late...here it is in all its glory. I have not edited the content at all from the when I submitted it. Um, sorry about all the footnotes; they're a lot more readable when they go at the end of the page instead of the end of the entire essay!

Also, I realized belatedly that the polite thing to do would have been to ask the authors of the fics and posts I cite whether it would be okay for me to do so. So, um, I'm very sorry to anyone who discovers this and is offended by my use of their writing. There's not much I can do after the fact except to apologize and say that at least the only audience for my essay was my relatively fandom-friendly prof?

Anyways, I hope at least someone finds this interesting. I had fun doing it. (though I could not make myself reread it, even for posting it here - I can hardly ever bear to reread my essays. I only skimmed enough to put in the necessary formatting...)


In Your Media Queering Your Characters )
sophia_sol: Ace of hearts leaning against stack of books (Ace)
So, I have been using this journal as a spot to discuss more than solely my thoughts on fandom -- it has also become, among other things, my place for discussing stuff to do with my sexuality. Because, well, these aspects of me are rather related to each other.

And I have exciting news on that front! )
sophia_sol: Ace of hearts leaning against stack of books (Ace)
Have you ever wanted to read long and in-depth meta from an asexual perspective about the Doctor's sexuality and Time Lord sexuality with digressions into Time Lord culture and history? Yes?

You know you want to.

It comes in two parts:
The part about the Doctor and humans
The part about Time Lords

I am still thinking about all the stuff in these posts, trying to decide what all I agree with and don't agree with, but it is very well thought out, and even the bits that I do not agree with make sense to me.

Also, now I really want fic about approximately a million different things mentioned in the meta.

River Song

Oct. 8th, 2010 10:33 pm
sophia_sol: Wee!Amelia Pond, looking up when she hears the TARDIS (DW: Amelia: look up in hope)
You know how all through last season of Doctor Who I had an "irrational dislike", as I put it, for River Song? And I tried to rationalize why I didn't like her by saying things like the following: "I think it's in part because she just swans in knowing all sorts of stuff about the Doctor, and being better than the Doctor at all sorts of things, and being smug and mysterious about it. It gets on my nerves."

Yeah, okay, whatever, I've come to the conclusion about why I have an irrational dislike of River. It's got nothing to do with who River is, and in fact I think I could be capable of really liking her. I just have one problem: the show ships her with the Doctor, to a greater extent than I am comfortable with. THE DOCTOR IS ASEXUAL DAMNIT. That's why she puts my back up.

So. Sorry, River! It's not your fault! You go ahead and have a grand time travelling the universe being awesome, because you ARE awesome! It's just my own internal biases coming to play against you!
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (DW: Donna: hug me I'm awesome)
So there have been a bunch of teaser phrases that have been released about the episodes of the upcoming season of Doctor Who, to get us all excited. See here to read them. And I am, of course, excited. Except not ENTIRELY.

In which I talk about these mild spoilers )

Asexuality

Aug. 13th, 2010 09:52 pm
sophia_sol: Blair Sandburg, with text that says "this is my Serious Academic face" (TS: Blair: Serious Acaface)
Because I just realized how little I talk about this here, despite the fact that it is directly relevant in my interactions with fandom, I am devoting this post to the fact that I'm asexual.

I've mentioned it before, exactly three times. Here offhandedly, here as a minor point, and had it as a slightly more major part of the point of the post here, back when I was still working to accept that yes, I'm asexual.

So I'm asexual. Biromantic asexual. Cut because I am longwinded. (but then, when am I not...) )
sophia_sol: drawing of Combeferre, smiling and holding up a finger like he's about to explain something (STxi: Kirk & McCoy: a little help from)
ETA: When I posted this last night I wasn't thinking, and ended up hurting people by sharing things that weren't mine to share. I have now edited this post (and gotten a second opinion) to make sure that it's no longer hurtful to those people. I'm very sorry for the pain I caused. /ETA




BEST DECISION EVER. cut for random blather about my life and how much I love it right now )

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