how to have good posture

[sophia_sol]

As a child I was constantly told "stand up straight!" but it was never explained to me how to actually achieve that, beyond "shoulders back, head up." So I spent a lot of time thinking that standing up straight was annoying and uncomfortable and I hated it.

This year I've been working really hard on getting my posture figured out, and it's hard but actually achievable it turns out! So what I've determined is that for me to stand up straight, as someone whose body doesn't have muscle memory on how to do that, I have to pay attention to all of the following things:

- unroll my ankles
- feet pointed forward
- feet slightly apart from each other
- knees unlocked, and the one that bends too far backward brought in line with the good one
- tilt my hips the other direction
- butt muscles engaged
- core muscles engaged
- uncurl my back
- shake out my shoulders to help get them situated in a way that my arms hang right
- straighten my neck
- lift my chin
- get head balanced properly over my centre

That's a lot! And I had to basically figure it all out for myself.

But even if I had been given a list like this as a kid, I still would not have been able to achieve sustainably good posture at the time, because I did not know how to engage my butt muscles and it turns out those are vital for good posture.

Here's the thing. Somehow or other, as a wee baby learning as babies do through trial and error how it works to have a body, I apparently never figured out how to make proper use of my butt muscles. As a result, I have spent my whole life compensating for a very weak butt by using weird joint leverage and coopting less-strong muscles to come together to do the job of the butt -- and, crucially, without ever realising that a) I wasn't using my butt and b) I should be using my butt.

I discovered early this year that this is what was going on, and started a concerted campaign to strengthen my butt muscles and learn how to make use of them, and it is hard hecking work. Those muscles are not strong enough for me to do the normal everyday things that most people use them for. But I can't strengthen them without figuring out how to engage the right muscles for the tasks they ought to be doing, and it's hard to figure out how to engage those muscles if they're not strong enough to do anything useful. So it's a lot of trying things out and having my butt muscles hurting a lot, and having to concentrate very hard on exactly what my body is doing when taking part in normal everyday activities, and failing a lot tbh.

I've been working on this for a LOT of months and it's slow going but incremental progress continues to be made. Standing with good posture is actually still not something that's sustainable for long periods for me, as the correct activation of the correct muscles for that activity does not feel natural yet, but I feel hopeful that someday I will achieve that!

I also physically cannot make functional use of my butt when standing up/sitting down from anything chair height or lower, because that's a lot of mass working against gravity that the butt must support, but I also have hopes that someday I'll be able to do that too, as I continue to strengthen my butt muscles.

What I CAN do with my butt now, as long as I'm paying attention the whole time, and don't do it so much that I exhaust the muscles: run, walk, bicycle, go up and down stairs. This is enormously exciting! Using the butt muscles really does make a small but noticeable improvement in accomplishing these things!

Of course, I have decades of body development and habits to work against as I try to habituate myself to using my butt muscles, and I can still tell that there are nuances to using those muscles effectively that I have not yet gotten the hang of. I'm probably going to have to continue to overthink every time I use my body for anything for at least another couple years, I'm guessing. But it's working! I'm doing it!

And maybe by the end of that I'll be able to just "stand up straight."

Comments

[lirazel]

I have been told my whole life to stand up straight as well! My mama used to poke her finger into my spine and say, "Stand up straight, Lauren!" so often! I got better for a long time, but then I spent a year living in a tiny dorm room with only my bed to sit on and I became all hunched forward again. It's definitely something I need to work on getting back, but you're right that it takes a lot of work and effort to retrain your body!

I don't know that I have the same problem with the butt muscles thing, but this is fascinating to me, and I'm glad for you that you figured out what wasn't working for you and that you're working on figuring out what will.

[sophia_sol]

Bodies really take a remarkable amount of work to keep them in good functioning order!

I'm glad this was fascinating to you too, I have been thinking with fascination about butts for SO MANY months now! How on earth did toddler me do this to me? How did I learn to walk without using an essential muscle?! I am relatively confident most people don't have the same problem I have with my butt muscles. But I also think that most people are a little bit more, uh, regularly in tune with their bodies than I have ever been

[lirazel]

But I also think that most people are a little bit more, uh, regularly in tune with their bodies than I have ever been

Yeah, it's so hard to judge what's a normal relationship with the body and what isn't. I think I'm less in tune with mine than most people, but who knows tbh. It's so hard to compare experiences of our bodies to each other.

[sophia_sol]

Yeah it really is hard to compare! Unless you can find, like, research on the specific things one deals with. For example I know from reading up on autism that I struggle more with interoception than the average neurotypical person does, but I wouldn't know that if I didn't have the vocabulary for interoception to know what to google!

[ivyfic]

Have you heard of the Alexander technique? It was developed for actors and singers, but it’s designed to get you into a neutral, non-straining posture. I’ve only been to one seminar on it, but if there are classes in your area, it might be interesting to look into, at least as a data point.

[sophia_sol]

oh fascinating, I've never heard of that before! unfortunately it looks like there's nobody teaching it in my area but I'm definitely going to do more research into this!

[michelel72]

Bodies are so complicated! And no owner's manual. (I'm reminded of the show, "The Greatest American Hero".) It's a wonder we ever learn to use them at all.

[sophia_sol]

an owner's manual would be so nice!! we all muck up our bodies in so many varied and exciting ways, because they are not nearly as intuitive as they really ought to be

[china_shop]

It's so great that you figured out what wasn't working and that you're consciously fixing it! I'm so impressed! My current physio exercises include several butt exercises, so I suspect I have a similar problem, though no one's actually spelled it out for me in so many words. (If you're interested in the exercises themselves, I'm happy to elaborate.) And yeah, so much work, so time-consuming...

♥♥♥

[sophia_sol]

I have found several butt exercises on the internet but most of them are too advanced for me, lol, they expect me to have more strength than I currently have available to give! Everyone's like "squats are great for the butt" and I'm like "hahaha talk to me next year maybe." I have been doing lots of bridges though and finding them helpful. What other exercises does your physio have you doing? I'm definitely interested!

[china_shop]

I started with four, and then she added one more. The first four were:

1. Isometric gluteus medius contraction
Stand with your feet apart and slightly turned outwards. Keeping your feet flat on the floor (and still), try and push your toes apart as if you are trying to "spread the floor". Hold the contraction for 5 seconds. Briefly rest and then repeat. 2-3 reps, 3-4 x day (or as often as you like). There should be a sense of wrapping/passive movement from the knees, around the outer thighs to the butt. I got told to do this one as often as I like, so I try to remember to do it when I'm washing my hands or microwaving things.

2. Sit with an exercise band around your legs, just above your knees. Knees bent and hip width apart, feet flat on the floor. Steadily push your knees out to tension the band. (I bought some disks that are slippery on the bottom so I can move my feet apart smoothly, keeping my lower leg vertical -- you could probably get a similar effect with socks on a slippery floor?) 10 reps x 3 sets. Make sure not to lead with the feet.

3. Using the disks again, but standing this time. With a lighter band around your forefoot and your forefeet on the disks, turn your feet out. This is like #1, but the band gives it active resistance. 10 reps x 3 sets.

4. Side lying leg lift. Lie on your side, with your lower butt hard up against a wall, and your back flat against the wall. Bottom leg bent, upper leg straight with toe slightly pointed down. Head on your arm on the ground. Belly button to spine. Slide your upper leg up and down the wall, slooowly. Three sets on each leg, working to fatigue on each set. (This one is horrible, but/because you can really feel it working!)

The fifth one, which I got two weeks later, seemed impossible to start with and is now just hard:

5. Wall press. Stand perpendicular to a wall or pillar, quite close, as upright as you can. Raise the knee next to the wall to a 90 degree angle and push your knee and thigh[1] into the wall for 30 seconds. Keep the standing knee slightly flexed. (The standing knee is the leg that's working; the actual wall press part is mostly for balance, I think.) If you can maintain an upright enough position (ie, don't cock your hip!), you should feel your lower glute muscle on that side activating, ow.) 3 reps on each side.

[1] Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but I press my knee and lower leg into the wall. Knee and thigh is what the handout says, though.

Obviously, I'm not a professional, but if any of that doesn't make sense, feel free to prod me for further attempts to explain. ;-)

[sophia_sol]

Thank you, I really appreciate this! I'm going to have to get a set of exercise bands as that's not something I currently have. But I tried exercise #1 and it really worked! #4 and #5 I'm gonna have to work on, as when I tried them it was clear my butt muscles weren't involved in the process at all, so I have to figure out the right way to get them activated for those motions

edit: update I just got resistance bands and though it took me a little too figure out what to do, those exercises seem like they'll be great for me!

[china_shop]

Yay, that's awesome! I'm so glad. (And if you ever wanted to, you could find a physio and get them to check your technique/give you more exercises, too. :-)

Maybe try #5 again in a week or two, once you've built up some muscle/stamina? It's basically standing on one leg and using your butt to maintain stability, I think, so pretty tough if you don't have much to work with (as I discovered!).

For #4, I just found this video that explains it, if that helps?

[pauraque]

I didn't learn to stand up straight until I injured my back a few years ago and was informed during the course of physical therapy that there was a better way to stand than what I had been doing. For me it wasn't a butt muscle issue, but more of an upper back and shoulder issue. It was pretty confusing to learn a significantly different way to stand in my mid-30s, but eventually it started to feel natural and now I do it without thinking. I hope the same happens for you!

[sophia_sol]

yeah, it really IS wild to spend time in your 30's learning a whole new way to stand! I'm glad you had good support from your pysical therapy in how to fix things, and that it eventually became natural for you! I hope I get there too.

[cahn]

It is amazing that you figured all this out! And fascinating because although I don't have identical problems to you, I think I have somewhat-related ones?

In my late 20's/early 30's my knees started hurting and I was sent to a PT, who was like, "...you've been walking all wrong your whole life." So, yeah, IDK about standing (maybe I stand wrong too??) but I definitely was not using my butt muscles enough to walk, I should have been swinging my hips much more than I actually was. (I actually wonder if part of this was sort of... gender-related in my brain, as I have always associated hip-swinging with a kind of performance of femininity that I was not into, but no, apparently Ordinary People In General use their hips more than I do/did!)

Also, weirdly (and unrelated at all to gender, lol), it turns out that both walking, standing, sitting down, AND lying down my foot/toes tend to turn outward from my body rather than straight, and it turns out that if they are straight it works the butt muscles (a tiny bit, but enough I can feel it) and if they turn outward it works the muscles around the knee instead (which aren't strong enough to take it, hence my knee pain). So just fixing that has made my butt work a bit harder than it used to, heh.

(I also have posture problems, but those seem to be pretty clearly my shoulders/upper-back muscles rather than my butt muscles, most of the time :) )

[sophia_sol]

Oh fascinating, thanks for sharing your experiences as well!

Apparently the way that I failed to use my butt while walking was the opposite of yours -- I involved lots of extra hip swinging action, to the degree that the whole top half of my body swayed hugely side to side as I walked. (which, yes, I had complicated gender feelings about.) I think I was like, using my hips to swing my leg forward like a pendulum, and then let the foot fall heavily to the ground? Anyway my various leg joints didn't like this either as you may imagine.

I also do have posture problems that are unrelated to the butt problems, but those ones I think are about how I used to have really really big breasts and they a) weighed a lot and pulled my front forward/down, and b) I haaaated them gender-wise and good posture would thrust them more into view. And now that I've been breastless a couple years I'm relearning how to position my upper body.