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sophia_sol) wrote2023-09-27 09:12 pm
sophia_sol) wrote2023-09-27 09:12 pm
Entry tags:
Debrief
I want to request Debrief for yuletide, and in preparation for that I thought it long past time that I actually post about it here. Because DEBRIEF! What a game!!! It is a one-hour roleplay game for two players, with very little in the way of game mechanics, and an extensive character sheet for each player. You only get to see your character's sheet, and not the other. It's played over zoom or some other video-conferencing software, and the one hour is a hard time limit built into the conceit of the game, and that hour just WHIZZES by in a maelstrom of emotions!
I was introduced to Debrief via a post about the game fromskygiants, which includes a spoiler-free description and explanation, plus spoilers for three different runs of the game hidden in rot13. You too can play Debrief if you want, by picking it up for free on the creators' website: Debrief at Paracelsus Games. I highly recommend it!
As the official description goes, Debrief is "a tale of espionage, friendship, betrayal, and necromancy. As the Cold War rages, a British spirit medium working for MI6 must conjure up the ghost of his best friend — now revealed to be a double agent working for the Soviet Union — for one final debriefing."
The game is that final conversation between these two men, George Russell and Robert Alderidge, and holy shit I have so many emotions about the two of them. The way things play out can vary widely from game to game, depending on how the roleplayers play things, but there are some things that are fundamental to them no matter what, and no matter the iteration, I AM THERE.
And now I'm going to get into the spoilery description of how my run of the game went. I'm not usually a person who worries about spoilers much, but I do want to make note that if you have the slightest idea that you may want to play Debrief yourself at some point in the future, I found the experience of going into the game unspoiled to be enormously good. But I bet you could also have fun playing a version where you and your RP partner agree to both know everything going into it together! It would play out differently, I'm sure, but I think it could lead to some neat places.
Our Alderidge: Genuinely earnestly working on behalf of greater ideals, in love with his ideals because he doesn't have anyone else in his life with whom who he can be fully himself.
Our Russell: Just earnest. Trying to be a good guy. Doesn't understand having different approaches to what being good might mean.
Throughout the game, the conversation kept on circling around ideas of whether the broken system which had hurt both of of them when they were younger could be fixed only by incremental means (Russell) or by overthrowing the system entirely (Alderidge) and all of their disagreements came down to that fundamental difference.
As these discussions went on, Alderidge expanded his goal from asking for the ectoplasm disruptor to be given to the Russians, to asking for it to be given openly to everyone, because then it could be used to calm the suffering of all the unquiet ghosts haunting the world. And although Russell was not open to Alderidge's intellectual discussion of the ethics of how to address suffering, in the end Russell WAS open to learning that Alderidge truly cared as deeply for him as he did for Alderidge. Though of course Alderidge was more than a bit allergic to saying anything emotional lol. Alderidge had a mission and he was super embarrassed by the notion that any feelings might take precedence over his ideals; if he were a better person he would have no feelings at all, is what he thinks!
Russel couldn't bring himself to be mean to Alderidge despite Alderidge's treason, though he sure tried in the beginning. He tried to act as if he couldn't trust Alderidge anymore, but on a bone-deep level he still did. He still tried to engage with Alderidge on the level of believing what Alderidge told him. And at the same time, Alderidge really talked a big game of ideals over everything, but ultimately could never help acting out of very personal care for Russell.
And so learning the fact that Alderidge's death happened in consequence of Alderidge refusing to betray Russell personally by sharing the disruptor plans, it really broke Russell.
But despite the degree to which the two of them cared about each other, they fundamentally couldn't agree on how to proceed with the matter of the disruptor.
And although Russell was supposed to be interrogating Alderidge for information, from the start Alderidge was the one controlling the entire conversation. Alderidge could talk circles around anyone and he did his level best to! He did NOT let up, and it was so much fun for me to play against. In one of my favourite moments, Alderidge had been going on for quite a while about whatever point he was trying to prove at the time, and when Alderidge paused briefly, Russell didn't even try to respond to the substance of what Alderidge was saying, and just said in fond despair, "You always were a talker."
As the time limit on their conversation began to threaten, Alderidge let out the fact that he had always loved Russell, and Russell had one of those "replaying my entire life in front of my eyes to recontextualise it" moments and was like, "oh I think I've always loved you too."
And this was what Russell needed in the end, for him to be able move forward out of trust in Alderidge's vision for a better world. Russell agreed to share the disruptor plans with the world, and then planned go on a personal journey of misery to all the battlefields he could make it to (as a traitor then himself) to use the disruptor to bring peace to all the unquiet dead he could. And live the rest of his life wondering if he could have done anything differently in earlier days with Alderidge so that things didn't have to end as they ended.
Russell and Alderidge, both in tears, were able to say goodbye, and Alderidge was able to go peacefully into the light at the last moment. And Russell will never know a day of peace again, because although Alderidge cannot haunt him anymore, Alderidge will haunt him forever.
This is perhaps the closest thing to a happy ending that this game can achieve, and yet it is still agony. They cannot be happy! You can SEE the possible happiness for them but it will ALWAYS be out of reach because of who they are and the situations they're in!
---
One fun detail I was delighted to learn after playing is that from every game of Debrief I'm aware of any details of, at least once Alderidge pulls out a threat to haunt Russell forever if Russell doesn't do what he wants, and Russell is just like, you think that's a threat?
This is something that came up regularly throughout the conversation in our game! It was a threat that Alderidge repeatedly used to try to convince Russell to give up the disruptor plans, but Russell kind of wanted that haunting. Together forever! No chance of being separated no matter what happens! Being followed by an angry ghost Alderidge for the rest of his life is better than never seeing Alderidge again! Divorce where you still live together is so good.
And there are so many different ways for Russell and Alderidge to love each other and to be miserable.
What if the two of them had gone to the same university? I'm sure they still would have found other ways to agonizingly fail to communicate! There's a small chance things might have been very slightly better, but also it's very possible everything would be somehow even worse!
What if, of the two of them, it was Russell who was the dead ghost traitor instead of Alderidge? That is definitely ALSO not a story with a happy ending!
After I finished playing the game, I felt hesitant to read Alderidge's character sheet because it felt so invasive of his privacy, and it made me think about an au that involved telepathy. Accidental mind bonding would ALSO be agony, of an exciting new flavour!
I want all the AU's showing all the ways they can fail to have a happy ending together!
---
One of the (many, exquisitely done) things the game is about is what gets in the way of people being able to actually communicate with each other, and to understand each other, and to understand their selves. Both Alderidge and Russell have built up idealizations of each other inside their own heads, and have completely different understandings of what the dynamic between them is.
Even after Alderidge's death, when everything should be over, they still can't manage to talk in complete openness -- even in my playthrough, which is the most successful-at-communicating version I know. There's always a barrier between them, and nothing can actually change that, and love doesn't actually solve all problems.
In talking about Debrief with Becca afterwards, one of the things we discussed was how the various iterations of Debrief that get played are like an awful timeloop of how if Alderidge had ever trusted Russell with any of what was happening while he was alive, he could almost certainly have convinced him to give up the disruptor. But that level of trust was never actually an option! And so it plays out again and again in different games and in different ways, and in each iteration, Alderidge and Russell fail once again to successfully figure out how to break free of the cycle and make things actually work for a change. Agonizing regret is always waiting in the wings for them.
There are so many layers of different things one could discuss about Debrief, and about these characters, and the world they live in, and the people around them. But I think I've gone on long enough at this point!
If you've played Debrief, TALK TO ME! If you haven't played Debrief, can I make a sincere recommendation you give it a try!
I was introduced to Debrief via a post about the game from
skygiants, which includes a spoiler-free description and explanation, plus spoilers for three different runs of the game hidden in rot13. You too can play Debrief if you want, by picking it up for free on the creators' website: Debrief at Paracelsus Games. I highly recommend it!As the official description goes, Debrief is "a tale of espionage, friendship, betrayal, and necromancy. As the Cold War rages, a British spirit medium working for MI6 must conjure up the ghost of his best friend — now revealed to be a double agent working for the Soviet Union — for one final debriefing."
The game is that final conversation between these two men, George Russell and Robert Alderidge, and holy shit I have so many emotions about the two of them. The way things play out can vary widely from game to game, depending on how the roleplayers play things, but there are some things that are fundamental to them no matter what, and no matter the iteration, I AM THERE.
And now I'm going to get into the spoilery description of how my run of the game went. I'm not usually a person who worries about spoilers much, but I do want to make note that if you have the slightest idea that you may want to play Debrief yourself at some point in the future, I found the experience of going into the game unspoiled to be enormously good. But I bet you could also have fun playing a version where you and your RP partner agree to both know everything going into it together! It would play out differently, I'm sure, but I think it could lead to some neat places.
Click here to expand the spoilers
I played Russell, the spirit medium, and A. played Alderidge, the double agent. This undoubtedly affects my approach to how I am writing this up, and how I think of the whole story, because I was embedded in Russell's headspace while playing it all out.Our Alderidge: Genuinely earnestly working on behalf of greater ideals, in love with his ideals because he doesn't have anyone else in his life with whom who he can be fully himself.
Our Russell: Just earnest. Trying to be a good guy. Doesn't understand having different approaches to what being good might mean.
Throughout the game, the conversation kept on circling around ideas of whether the broken system which had hurt both of of them when they were younger could be fixed only by incremental means (Russell) or by overthrowing the system entirely (Alderidge) and all of their disagreements came down to that fundamental difference.
As these discussions went on, Alderidge expanded his goal from asking for the ectoplasm disruptor to be given to the Russians, to asking for it to be given openly to everyone, because then it could be used to calm the suffering of all the unquiet ghosts haunting the world. And although Russell was not open to Alderidge's intellectual discussion of the ethics of how to address suffering, in the end Russell WAS open to learning that Alderidge truly cared as deeply for him as he did for Alderidge. Though of course Alderidge was more than a bit allergic to saying anything emotional lol. Alderidge had a mission and he was super embarrassed by the notion that any feelings might take precedence over his ideals; if he were a better person he would have no feelings at all, is what he thinks!
Russel couldn't bring himself to be mean to Alderidge despite Alderidge's treason, though he sure tried in the beginning. He tried to act as if he couldn't trust Alderidge anymore, but on a bone-deep level he still did. He still tried to engage with Alderidge on the level of believing what Alderidge told him. And at the same time, Alderidge really talked a big game of ideals over everything, but ultimately could never help acting out of very personal care for Russell.
And so learning the fact that Alderidge's death happened in consequence of Alderidge refusing to betray Russell personally by sharing the disruptor plans, it really broke Russell.
But despite the degree to which the two of them cared about each other, they fundamentally couldn't agree on how to proceed with the matter of the disruptor.
And although Russell was supposed to be interrogating Alderidge for information, from the start Alderidge was the one controlling the entire conversation. Alderidge could talk circles around anyone and he did his level best to! He did NOT let up, and it was so much fun for me to play against. In one of my favourite moments, Alderidge had been going on for quite a while about whatever point he was trying to prove at the time, and when Alderidge paused briefly, Russell didn't even try to respond to the substance of what Alderidge was saying, and just said in fond despair, "You always were a talker."
As the time limit on their conversation began to threaten, Alderidge let out the fact that he had always loved Russell, and Russell had one of those "replaying my entire life in front of my eyes to recontextualise it" moments and was like, "oh I think I've always loved you too."
And this was what Russell needed in the end, for him to be able move forward out of trust in Alderidge's vision for a better world. Russell agreed to share the disruptor plans with the world, and then planned go on a personal journey of misery to all the battlefields he could make it to (as a traitor then himself) to use the disruptor to bring peace to all the unquiet dead he could. And live the rest of his life wondering if he could have done anything differently in earlier days with Alderidge so that things didn't have to end as they ended.
Russell and Alderidge, both in tears, were able to say goodbye, and Alderidge was able to go peacefully into the light at the last moment. And Russell will never know a day of peace again, because although Alderidge cannot haunt him anymore, Alderidge will haunt him forever.
This is perhaps the closest thing to a happy ending that this game can achieve, and yet it is still agony. They cannot be happy! You can SEE the possible happiness for them but it will ALWAYS be out of reach because of who they are and the situations they're in!
---
One fun detail I was delighted to learn after playing is that from every game of Debrief I'm aware of any details of, at least once Alderidge pulls out a threat to haunt Russell forever if Russell doesn't do what he wants, and Russell is just like, you think that's a threat?
This is something that came up regularly throughout the conversation in our game! It was a threat that Alderidge repeatedly used to try to convince Russell to give up the disruptor plans, but Russell kind of wanted that haunting. Together forever! No chance of being separated no matter what happens! Being followed by an angry ghost Alderidge for the rest of his life is better than never seeing Alderidge again! Divorce where you still live together is so good.
And there are so many different ways for Russell and Alderidge to love each other and to be miserable.
What if the two of them had gone to the same university? I'm sure they still would have found other ways to agonizingly fail to communicate! There's a small chance things might have been very slightly better, but also it's very possible everything would be somehow even worse!
What if, of the two of them, it was Russell who was the dead ghost traitor instead of Alderidge? That is definitely ALSO not a story with a happy ending!
After I finished playing the game, I felt hesitant to read Alderidge's character sheet because it felt so invasive of his privacy, and it made me think about an au that involved telepathy. Accidental mind bonding would ALSO be agony, of an exciting new flavour!
I want all the AU's showing all the ways they can fail to have a happy ending together!
---
One of the (many, exquisitely done) things the game is about is what gets in the way of people being able to actually communicate with each other, and to understand each other, and to understand their selves. Both Alderidge and Russell have built up idealizations of each other inside their own heads, and have completely different understandings of what the dynamic between them is.
Even after Alderidge's death, when everything should be over, they still can't manage to talk in complete openness -- even in my playthrough, which is the most successful-at-communicating version I know. There's always a barrier between them, and nothing can actually change that, and love doesn't actually solve all problems.
In talking about Debrief with Becca afterwards, one of the things we discussed was how the various iterations of Debrief that get played are like an awful timeloop of how if Alderidge had ever trusted Russell with any of what was happening while he was alive, he could almost certainly have convinced him to give up the disruptor. But that level of trust was never actually an option! And so it plays out again and again in different games and in different ways, and in each iteration, Alderidge and Russell fail once again to successfully figure out how to break free of the cycle and make things actually work for a change. Agonizing regret is always waiting in the wings for them.
There are so many layers of different things one could discuss about Debrief, and about these characters, and the world they live in, and the people around them. But I think I've gone on long enough at this point!
If you've played Debrief, TALK TO ME! If you haven't played Debrief, can I make a sincere recommendation you give it a try!
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I hope you get a whole bunch of people to tr it just in time for Yuletide. >:D
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