I feel like the kissing thing is a learned behaviour. When Friend A was in high school and doing the sexual exploration thing Friend A said something like "This kissing thing! It is boring! No, seriously, why this kissing thing, I would like to focus on the removal of pants thing instead. He says that the kissing thing will get better; I am unconvinced." Possibly some people take right to it, and are like, "This is awesome! I would like more of this!" but neither Friend A nor I did. When I first started kissing I think my mind responded with something like, "Well, this is boring. I'll just make my own fun then, shall I? *veers off wildly*" I think of kissing as a communications thing. It's a "there you are", an exercise in cooperative movement, an interaction, there are different tones with the amount of pressure and tongue and teeth that's used.* Every once in a while there's some combination of factors that flicks a switch in my mind, but kissing very rarely does anything for me sexually.
*On a more biological than sociological note - there's also information in their smell and the taste of their saliva.
I tend to think of a lot of sexual attraction as a kind of hind brain override. There are people that my brain decides are interesting, and so it tunes into them pretty intensely, so it's "B IS IN THE KITCHEN. YOU CAN NOT SEE THEM BUT THAT IS WHERE THEY ARE." and "B IS SPEAKING. *LISTENS*". There's a heightened awareness of them, even as I'm doing other tasks; they're something that my brain has decided is a priority. My brain is also more aware of people or things that it sees as threats, so, I also have a very keen perception of space and so on with someone who's twigged that radar - different alert system, if you will, but similar result in that respect.
Sometimes there are interesting little moments where my brain kind of skips a beat. It's jolting in kind of the same way almost falling asleep in class is, that moment where you snap out of it and your head snaps up and you are completely awake. My brain kind of trips over something - a physical sensation or someone's posture or something. (...normal, normal, normal, normal, THING, normal, normal - what just happened?!?, normal, normal, normal...) I don't have these moments very often. They last for about a second. They really throw me, because they are kind of a very blatant hind brain override; they're like a temporary hijacking or a glitch.
Hopefully some of that is useful and comprehensible and so on.
no subject
I feel like the kissing thing is a learned behaviour. When Friend A was in high school and doing the sexual exploration thing Friend A said something like "This kissing thing! It is boring! No, seriously, why this kissing thing, I would like to focus on the removal of pants thing instead. He says that the kissing thing will get better; I am unconvinced." Possibly some people take right to it, and are like, "This is awesome! I would like more of this!" but neither Friend A nor I did. When I first started kissing I think my mind responded with something like, "Well, this is boring. I'll just make my own fun then, shall I? *veers off wildly*" I think of kissing as a communications thing. It's a "there you are", an exercise in cooperative movement, an interaction, there are different tones with the amount of pressure and tongue and teeth that's used.* Every once in a while there's some combination of factors that flicks a switch in my mind, but kissing very rarely does anything for me sexually.
*On a more biological than sociological note - there's also information in their smell and the taste of their saliva.
I tend to think of a lot of sexual attraction as a kind of hind brain override. There are people that my brain decides are interesting, and so it tunes into them pretty intensely, so it's "B IS IN THE KITCHEN. YOU CAN NOT SEE THEM BUT THAT IS WHERE THEY ARE." and "B IS SPEAKING. *LISTENS*". There's a heightened awareness of them, even as I'm doing other tasks; they're something that my brain has decided is a priority. My brain is also more aware of people or things that it sees as threats, so, I also have a very keen perception of space and so on with someone who's twigged that radar - different alert system, if you will, but similar result in that respect.
Sometimes there are interesting little moments where my brain kind of skips a beat. It's jolting in kind of the same way almost falling asleep in class is, that moment where you snap out of it and your head snaps up and you are completely awake. My brain kind of trips over something - a physical sensation or someone's posture or something. (...normal, normal, normal, normal, THING, normal, normal - what just happened?!?, normal, normal, normal...) I don't have these moments very often. They last for about a second. They really throw me, because they are kind of a very blatant hind brain override; they're like a temporary hijacking or a glitch.
Hopefully some of that is useful and comprehensible and so on.