A question for you.

[sophia_sol]

So there is a fic I am making vague stabs at trying to write. It is not going very well. This is in part because I lack some crucial information! Namely, what is it like to experience sexual attraction?

And so I turn to you for help! Are you a person who experiences sexual attraction? I would like to hear from you! What does sexual attraction feel like for you (physically? mentally? emotionally?)? When do you experience it? How often do you experience it? Do you experience it every time you see a person you would categorize as "hot" or just people you are interested in, or some third option? Do you enjoy the experience? Do you ever wish it would just go away? Is there anything else that I'm not thinking to ask because I don't know enough to ask it?

Basically I just would love anything you could tell me about what sexual attraction is like for you. And it would be wonderful to get responses from multiple people, so I can try to extrapolate outwards from multiple data points to get a fuller picture of what it is like! I am happy with long or short answers, with or without TMI, and you can of course comment anonymously if you wish.

(Also, while I'm at it, just for my own interest, would you be able to explain what it is that is enjoyable/appealing about kissing? I'm just so curious!)

Comments

[carmarthen.livejournal.com]

Kissing

Hmm. Well, the first guy I kissed was awful. I mean really awful. My roommate, who also made out with him later described it as being like "kissing a gawping fish". There was tongue on my chin and it was super-gross and not at all enjoyable.

The second guy I kissed was an asshole, but as I vaguely recall, an okay kisser. After that I spent a few years kissing a lot of people at parties, and most of them were okay, some were bad, and some were quite fun. One of the guys I'm dating is…really not a compatible kisser for me--like, on our first date, after flirting through dinner and getting a nice nervous-attraction buzz going, he kissed me with WAY too much tongue, too aggressively, and it was like a bucket of cold water on my sexual interest (he turned out to be pretty fun in other ways, fortunately). So with him I either make sure I'm controlling the kiss (yay, submissives?) or I avoid kissing him, because I have not quite managed to explain/demonstrate to him quite how I prefer kissing and have not figured out how to further broach the topic without hurting his feelings.

I guess I'm fairly picky about kissing style (not into super wet/deep/tongue-y kissing), so I have a pretty short list of people I really enjoy kissing sexually.

With someone of compatible style, I really enjoy kissing. There are a lot of nerve endings in the mouth, and I generally, uh, like having things in my mouth from a tactile POV rather than a solely psychological one (fingers…other things…). Nerve endings, woot! Lips are soft. It's intimate. It feels good. Sometimes it's a little arousing, especially during NRE. With first kisses especially there's an edge of nervousness that for me at least is very bound up with arousal/attraction/NRE. *shrug*

But sometimes my lips get chapped, or people need to brush their teeth, and kissing is not anywhere near my favorite sexual thing (from a tactile POV, sucking on someone's fingers is a much bigger turn-on for me), although closed-mouth affectionate kissing is quite important to me, and I wish it were more common between friends.

Hope that's sort of helpful! I'd be happy to attempt to answer further questions.

[sophia-sol.livejournal.com]

Ooh, thank you so much for the lovely long detailed response! I will sit and let this all percolate for a while and see if I end up with more things I want to ask you!