A question for you.

[sophia_sol]

So there is a fic I am making vague stabs at trying to write. It is not going very well. This is in part because I lack some crucial information! Namely, what is it like to experience sexual attraction?

And so I turn to you for help! Are you a person who experiences sexual attraction? I would like to hear from you! What does sexual attraction feel like for you (physically? mentally? emotionally?)? When do you experience it? How often do you experience it? Do you experience it every time you see a person you would categorize as "hot" or just people you are interested in, or some third option? Do you enjoy the experience? Do you ever wish it would just go away? Is there anything else that I'm not thinking to ask because I don't know enough to ask it?

Basically I just would love anything you could tell me about what sexual attraction is like for you. And it would be wonderful to get responses from multiple people, so I can try to extrapolate outwards from multiple data points to get a fuller picture of what it is like! I am happy with long or short answers, with or without TMI, and you can of course comment anonymously if you wish.

(Also, while I'm at it, just for my own interest, would you be able to explain what it is that is enjoyable/appealing about kissing? I'm just so curious!)

Comments

[sophia_sol]

No, you are helpful - thank you! Any further data on these points is useful to me because these things just don't get DISCUSSED.

[tei]

This is true! I mean, basically what the world at large tells you about it is that "One day you will wake up and want to have SEX with EVERYONE. And when that happens you should use a CONDOM." Which, IDK, that doesn't seem to quite cover it!

[tei]

Okay, hold on! After some thought I think I may have a... sort-of sexual answer? I think a large part of what I classify as sexual attraction for me-- which is probably far more important to me than to other sexual people-- is just awareness of where the other person is in physical space.

Like, I find that a good general model (on a very simple level) of how I move through physical space is that stuff classified as "me" (my body) interacts with stuff classified as "not me" (everything else, including other people.) And obviously not much conscious thought needs to go into figuring out exactly where all the not-me stuff is, so long as none of it is actually on a collision path with the me-stuff. So most of the background not-me stuff gets ignored in terms of knowing exactly where it is.

A person to whom I am somehow attracted separates slightly from the rest of the not-me stuff, so that even if I'm not really interacting with them, if they're in the vicinity I still keep a mental tab on where they are and where they're moving. And I would be paying more involuntary attention to the positioning of someone I'm attracted to walking towards me (how far are they? When are they going to stop walking and what will our physical positioning look like when they do?) than someone I'm not attracted to. Which doesn't have much to do with sex organs or emotions, but it's a physical thing which I think has something to do with attraction for me.

[sophia_sol]

Huh, that's really interesting! Thank you!