sophia_sol | A question for you.

So there is a fic I am making vague stabs at trying to write. It is not going very well. This is in part because I lack some crucial information! Namely, what is it like to experience sexual attraction?

And so I turn to you for help! Are you a person who experiences sexual attraction? I would like to hear from you! What does sexual attraction feel like for you (physically? mentally? emotionally?)? When do you experience it? How often do you experience it? Do you experience it every time you see a person you would categorize as "hot" or just people you are interested in, or some third option? Do you enjoy the experience? Do you ever wish it would just go away? Is there anything else that I'm not thinking to ask because I don't know enough to ask it?

Basically I just would love anything you could tell me about what sexual attraction is like for you. And it would be wonderful to get responses from multiple people, so I can try to extrapolate outwards from multiple data points to get a fuller picture of what it is like! I am happy with long or short answers, with or without TMI, and you can of course comment anonymously if you wish.

(Also, while I'm at it, just for my own interest, would you be able to explain what it is that is enjoyable/appealing about kissing? I'm just so curious!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

'I think of kissing as a communications thing. It's a "there you are", an exercise in cooperative movement, an interaction, there are different tones with the amount of pressure and tongue and teeth that's used.'

...this suddenly clicked with my brain. In a backwards sort of way.

Okay, see - this is complicated: I was writing a fic where I was using "play" swordfighting with wooden swords as a form of intimacy thing between two adult guys. Because, you know, it's this really intense physical two-person activity, where you have to be totally conscious of your partner and paying attention to all their nonverbal communication in order for nobody to get hurt. (So, in my head, it's kind of a nonsexual "I give myself to you" thing: "I give you my attention, my trust, my energy - and I am totally going to pwn the hell out of you if you don't watch out." *g*)

So anyway. I had this whole thing about how there has to be kind of a formalized first-strike-and-parry thing in order to let your partner clue in to how you're feeling, what level of scrap you're in the mood for. And... IDK, just - with the way you put that about kissing, I was suddenly "OMG that's it! Kissing is the sexual equivalent of that thing! Stuff makes so much more sense now!"

(So, er, of course I had to write an insanely long and late comment saying so. ;P Tl;dr: thank you for your very clear explanation. *smile*)

I'm glad that was useful for you. :) It took me a while to figure out the kissing thing; I suspect that other people's approaches to it are a little (or a lot) different.

The swords thing is interesting and makes me think a little about how that kind of footage gets used in vidding. There's this clip that I've seen in Highlander vids (I've not seen any of the source) of Duncan with a sword to Methos' throat at the end of a duel and there's this look on Methos' face.

A question for you.

...er. My asexual babbling, let me show you it. O_O

Re: ...er. My asexual babbling, let me show you it. O_O