Sorrow's Knot, by Erin Bow

Okay, where to start on this book? It's a very well written book in many ways, as I expect from Erin Bow, and I cared a lot about the characters, and the worldbuilding was interesting, and I found the book compelling throughout, but it had several significant features that made me varyingly uncomfortable and ultimately got in the way of being able to love this book.

( uhhhhh I suppose all three things are spoilers and so belong behind a cut )