A Fan's Playground

Roundup post of my recs for the month of December! Yuletide happened this month so there's a wide variety :D I'm not done going through the yuletide archive yet, too many other things to do in my life, so my January post will inevitably have some yuletide recs too.

3 SVSSS fic recs

defenders of the peak, by tshirt

➤ svsss post-canon bingqiu fic

➤ lbh realises that sqq needs more enrichment in his life. he needs to be able to go back to qing jing

➤ therefore lbh needs to make it possible for lbh to be allowed back at cang qiong again!

➤ he goes about this in the most luo binghe way possible

➤ as always, tshirt's sense of comic timing in this fic is PERFECT omg

➤ I love it

➤ 1k words in length


A Drop in the Drying Sea, by tuesday

➤ svsss moshang fic about the journey of developing trust that Mobei-Jun goes on

➤ I love mbj's pov in this, the way he thinks about sqh and what his priorities are!

➤ cute!!!!

➤ 3k words in length


Fight or Flight, by acernor

➤ an svsss liushen au where lqg is an injured gyrfalcon yao who sqq wants to help

➤ it's both so sweet and so fun! lqg's pov with his total mistrust of the human cultivator, slowly evolving over time to becoming willing to let sqq help, is great

➤ and how clear it is that sqq finds lqg both fascinating as a creature of the world of pidw, and very handsome as a man

➤ the parts with the wing repair were soooo good to me, I love how seriously this fic takes the bird and feather details!

➤ a delightful fic from start to finish

➤ 12k words in length

2 TGCF fic recs

Money, Time, Patience, Love, by eggfish

➤ TGCF fic about the era after xianle falls to yong'an, when Jian Lan finds work in a brothel

➤ Jian Lan's perspective on her developing relationship with Feng Xin

➤ I love the sharpness, the awkwardness, the quiet ground-down miseries - and yet the grasping onto what hope and beauty and love that can be found in the midst of it all

➤ Jian Lan and Feng Xin are doing their best! I'm emotions

➤ and I love the gentle femdom that Jian Lan leans into when Feng Xin's women issues make it challenging for them to have sex <3

➤ 5k words in length


What Springs from Warmth and Feeding, by breathlessadoration

➤ tgcf hualian post-canon fic

➤ god this is cute, they're so CUTE!!!

➤ hua cheng and xie lian happy and comfortable together, having fun teasing and playing a drinking game

➤ the vibes are sooooo good I'm so charmed!

➤ 2k words in length

2 MDZS fic recs

you get what you give, by verity

➤ an mdzs wangxian modern au set during the early days of the pandemic in 2020, with flashbacks to 2003

➤ this fic is everything to me. it's just. so beautiful & good? grounded and present to its settings, seeing its characters with open-eyed affection, funny and heartbreakingly painful-hopeful and so, so gentle

➤ I love how the fic is about many relationships at once - wwx & the wens, wwx & jiang cheng, wwx & whatever he had going on with nhs back in the day, and of course, of course, wangxian. and all of these are vital relationships in wwx's life; all of them make him who he is

➤ a "straight boy wei ying" type fic; I love how compassionately wwx is viewed as he goes through his years-long process of realisation. the fic is never mean-spirited about wwx's lack of self-knowledge. he had a lot going on & was doing his best!

➤ I've read this fic at least 3 times and it hits just right every time

➤ 25k words


for nought / except for love's sake only, by verity

➤ modern au f/f mdzs wangxian fic

➤ lwj and wwx are academic colleagues; lwj comes to wwx for help dealing with a minor curse

➤ I love the glimpses into their broader world, the way cultivation is a part of modern life, the dynamics lwj has with her family, etc

➤ the way lwj being a poet affects the prose of the piece, and her point of view!

➤ and the dynamics between lwj and wwx are soooo good <3

➤ 1.7k words in length

2 Hamlet fic recs

Improving Fortinbras, by a_t_rain

➤ post-canon fanfic of shakespeare's Hamlet

➤ from Horatio's pov as he considers how best to mould the new young king Fortinbras in useful directions

➤ I love the evolution of Horatio's thoughts over the course of the fic, and the brief glimpses we get of Fortinbras

➤ love the integration of various minor characters and OC's, to good effect!

➤ 9k words in length


As a stranger give him welcome, by morethanfantasy

➜ yuletide fic - for Hamlet

➜ taking an interpretation that Horatio and Hamlet barely knew each other before the start of the play, and running with it from Horatio's pov

➜ I love the way this interpretation shapes the story!

➜ And Horatio's pov is so good. the way he feels helplessly drawn into the mess by Hamlet's charisma, never sure what he can do or what he should do, but unable to make himself step back and leave Hamlet alone

➜ because Hamlet IS so charismatic, and so visibly struggling at the same time! and there's so much depth there that Horatio simply cannot have the context to understand, but he wants to, he wants to be there for Hamlet

➜ but in the end, of course, all he can do is tell everyone what happened.

➜ I'm so emotions!!!!

➜ 9k words

1 fic rec each for:
Nirvana in Fire
The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water (Zen Cho)
Barrett's Privateers (Stan Rogers)
Mairelon the Magician (Patricia C Wrede)
Lord Peter Wimsey series (Dorothy L Sayers)
Fandom for Robots (Vina Jie-Min Prasad)
A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
Jeeves & Wooster (PG Wodehouse)
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (Susanna Clarke)

the hero saves the beauty, by Nemainofthewater

➜ pre-canon Nirvana in Fire fanfic

➜ outside pov about Lin Chen being his bestworst self at unsuspecting people

➜ it's so funny. I love Lin Chen.

➜ 2k words in length


Beneath These Sparks and Stars, by Shadaras

➜ yuletide fic - for The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water

➜ post-canon, Lau Fung Cheung runs into Tet Sang and Guet Imm at a festival

➜ lovely voice and povs! I really enjoyed this glimpse into their lives after what happens in canon

➜ 1k words in length


"God Damned Them All"? Documenting the Loss of the Privateer Antelope, by machiavellijr

➜ yuletide fic - for the song Barrett's Privateers

➜ omg it's an outside pov of the events of the song, told through the medium of correspondence and other written records in relation to the ship the Antelope. and it's SO GOOD

➜ I love the way all these letters build up such a picture of what happened! and there are so many fun details

➜ 2k words in length


hear the wrong and see the right, by etben

➜ yuletide fic - for Mairelon the Magician

➜ set mid-canon, a conversation between Mairelon and his mother about the realities of Kim being out in society and the male attention she'll attract

➜ Mairelon's oblivious focus on Kim's magical education and inability to follow where his mother is going with this line of questioning is so fun and so him

➜ what a cute and fun fic!

➜ 1k words in length


If our two loves be one, by phoenixflight

➜ yuletide fic - for the Lord Peter Wimsey books

➜ Harriet's POV on v-shaped polyamory negotiations, Harriet/Peter and Peter/Bunter

➜ the voice is so well done, of Harriet's whole pov but also every line of Peter's dialogue is dripping with the exact right kind of piffle he likes to talk, with all the casual references and so forth

➜ and the way they work out the relationship dynamics between the three of them, what is and isn't said, and what each of them is looking for, feels so right too!

➜ 10k words in length


Processing Time, by Toft

➜ yuletide fic - for Fandom For Robots

➜ Computron and bjornruffian work on their next collab, and Computron revisits memories of his creator

➜ and hello I had SO many sad robot feels and robot friendship feels! shrieking with delight

➜ 2k words in length


The First Morning, by genarti

➜ yuletide fic, for A Little Princess

➜ Becky's pov on the day after all the climactic reveals, when she gets to leave Miss Minchin's and go join Sara next door

➜ this does such a good job of capturing the tone of the book, the magic and wonder and the depths of emotions, and the kind of relationship Sara and Becky have

➜ these two young edwardian-era girls doing their best to navigate what they can be to each other within the bounds of societal understandings of power differentials, and their own internalized senses of such things.....I'm so emotions!!

➜ 3k words in length


Jeeves and the Birdcatcher's Costume, by WyvernQuill

➜ yuletide fic, for Jeeves & Wooster

➜ in which Jeeves and Wooster separately attend a masquerade ball, each in costume

➜ hidden identity shenanigans are such fun and this one is great!

➜ I love how much Wooster loves getting to interact with Jeeves without Jeeves's feudal spirit getting in the way

➜ and the vision of Jeeves at a party flirting with a flighty young master of unknown identity.....so good

➜ 11k words in length


Katharina Stellans, by yvain

➜ a yuletide fic, for Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

➜ About the tudor-era magician Martin Pale and his relationship with his tutor, Catherine of Winchester, from the golden age of magic

➜ gosh wow I am just -- so blown away by this?! it feels like it fits so perfectly into the interstices of canon. The undeniable weight of reality that the whole piece has, even as it is shot through with shards of the numinous....the characters all being people who are difficult, and real, and not altogether pleasant, but you love them for how real they are.

➜ Pale and Catherine are so different from each other, yet so connected, and though we get to hear much of Pale's life, Catherine remains as mysterious to us as she is to Pale. And yet we know her from who she is.

➜ idk, idk, I'm not sure how to explain this better! I just....really recommend reading this fic. it is so satisfying.

➜ 16k words

wow I simply did not read a lot of fanfic or pro fic over the course of August! Only 3 recs to share here from the month!

1 tgcf fic and 2 mdzs/cql fics

panting like a dog at the edge of your bed, by bloodletter

➤ the He Xuan magnum opus we don't deserve but are fortunate enough to get to read anyway

➤ following hx from the beginning until after the end, with theeeee most perfect narrative voice possible for hx

➤ I spent the entire fic internally shrieking with delight bc everything about it is so good!!!

➤ the hx characterisation, the beefleaf relationship complexities, the whatever it is they have of hx and hc....the tiny perfect xie lian cameos, even! it's all! so good!!!!

➤ READ IT READ IT READ IT

➤ 64k words in length


show me how you do that trick, by ilip13

➤ modern au wangxian fic where they're friends and roommates who start a friends-with-benefits arrangement

➤ a-spec wangxian! I liked how it was handled with wwx's difficulties in recognizing what he was feeling about lwj

➤ I read this fic as a wip and I have a bad memory so I don't recall everything I thought about it in the earlier chapters but it was good!

➤70k words in length


Pelagic, by roseclaw

➤ a cute modern au sangcheng fic where they're both birders and end up on the same pelagic boat trip

➤ I especially loved all the birding details!

➤ 3k words in length

Time for monthly recs again!!! a delicious selection for you from the month of April.

6 TGCF fics

flew like a moth to you, by Euphorion

- space au featuring ling wen/yushi huang, HELLO

- yushi huang's deliberate mysteriousness, and the way she uses it to flirt and get the upper hand with ling wen!

- ling wen enjoying having something to research that's for FUN instead of for work!

- the interesting development of the setting, and ways the characters and backstories have been tweaked to fit!

- LOVED IT.

- 4k words in length


these are the streets of favour, by bloodletter

- a fanfic about ling wen and pei ming, written for mxtx remix as a remix of my ling wen fic

- SHRIEKING. FLAILING. CLAWING AT MY FACE IN DELIGHT. I am so honoured that my fic could inspire this piece of absolute perfection

- the dynamics between Ling Wen and Pei Ming throughout are soooooo good. the affection and the insults combined, the way selfishness is manifested differently in each of them and the way it does and doesn't affect their connection

- ling wen nonsexually domming pei ming!

- the vibes of three tumours are so perfectly rancid!

- and the unofficial junior official chats!

- the way heaven in general thinks about ling wen's takeover!

- I'm just. blown away. this fic is EVERYTHING to me.

- 2k words in length


joy thief this human heart, by tshirt

- hello impeccable gothic vibes beefleaf

- also, doing great things with gender. also, contains MUFFING. (thank u Fucking Trans Women for teaching me about muffing)

- this is so beefleaf. I love them both so much <3

- 2k words in length


A Lose-Lose Situation, by eggfish

- omggg this is exactly the kind of dynamics I love to see between Feng Xin and Mu Qing during the Xianle era

- fx and xl are so SWEET together and fx and mq are so....united in their mutual disdain for each other and how they're connected with each other

- and how sex with each other doesn't actually change any part of that for fengqing; they have a good time having hatesex, they still hate each other, they're connected forever via their hatred for each other and their mutual love of xl, and their mutual inability to understand /how/ the other approaches their love for xl

- it's just so good!!!!

- 3k words in length


Only The Sword Remaining, by biasto_bias

- a compellingly painful fic about xie lian testing the limits of wu ming's devotion, leading to a sexual encounter that neither of them feel great about

- it's so very them for that period in their history: xie lian trying to push wu ming away because he thinks wu ming is better off elsewhere but doing it by being horrible to him, and wu ming feeling an awful mix of self-loathing and heady excitement for getting to be touched this way by dianxia

- 1k words in length

- thanks to roland for the rec that brought this fic to my attention!


talking to strangers, by bloodletter

- beefleaf prior to the black water arc

- sqx and her bff ming-xiong go to a party together! sqx explains to the hostess why ming-xiong is such a good friend, and it's definitely not about sex!

- they absolutely do have really good sex sometimes though. including at this party.

- the dynamics between sqx and hx are soooo good

- and ditto sqx having a great time being a beautiful woman at multiple after-parties, after the mid-autumn banquet

- what a delightful little gem of a fic

- 2k words in length

7 SVSSS fics & 1 SVSSS podcast

Cottage, by biasto_bias

- extremely cute bingqiu being pleased with themselves and having sex about it

- one of the tags is "bingqiu-typical bad consent etiquette" lol and that's accurate

- I love them and they're disasters <3

- 1k words in length


I listened to the first episode of The Scum Villain's Self-Summarizing Podcast today and I adore it already omg. only four episodes so far alas but it consists of one person summarizing svsss chapter by chapter to someone else who does not know it and it's SUCH a great way to relive the story!


a story about nothing in particular, by relationshipcrimes

- post-canon bingqiu

- sqq is in the sort of epilogue where absolutely nothing happens, no matter what some people might say. there's no storyline and he's definitely not experiencing character development!

- this was SUCH a delightful read omg. extremely bingqiu of them!

- I've been thinking a lot about bingqiu's sexual dynamics of late due to my current wip, and I can say authoritatively that this fic Understands them

- 18k words in length


everyone knows; we saw for ourselves, by bosbie

- svsss gen fic about ning yingying and ming fan, reacting to the news about luo binghe becoming the sect leader of huan hua

- nyy and mf only know what they've seen, and their shizun is dead and luo binghe is behaving as if he has no love or loyalty left in him

- oof this is so GOOD, I had emotions at the end!!!

- 2k words in length


the rise and fall of @ peerlesscucumber, by Allpiesforourown

- reverse transmigration bingqiu story, told through the forum posts of peerless cucumber, cucumber bro's fans, shizunsheavenlykitten, and all the people who think shizunsheavenlykitten is a tradwife

- a quick and fun read! I loved seeing the other internet people being endlessly baffled by bingqiu

- 5k words in length


Revisions, by ParueCake (MiraEyeteeth)

- bingqiu canon divergence au where after the abyss, lbh makes his way back to qing jing peak

- lbh is determined to prove to sqq that despite his demonic nature he can be a good disciple who is worth keeping

- sqq of course takes lbh's actions very differently

- really enjoyed lbh's pov here, and the things lbh does in service of his plan!

- 15k words in length


if you make a snake blush, by corduroyserpent

- wherein zhuzhi-lang lets sqq examine him to make notes about snake demons. they're both into it.

- it's so cute!! and funny. and very them!

- 2k words in length


Oxford Blues, by raitala

- modern AU f/f moshang where they meet as college roommates

- I appreciate that it's set in a specific college and the details about it are made use of to build out the sense of setting

- I love sqh's narrative pov, she's so funny!

- I also love the glimpses we get into the cumplane friendship and into the whole....situation sqq has going on with the harem of young men who are in love with him while sqq is oblivious to how gay everything is.

- and the moshang is super cute. mbj and sqh are both bad at communicating, in very different ways, and mbj is doing her best!

- 9k words in length

6 MDZS/CQL fics

within these walls, by Shadaras

- cql/mdzs. this is a remix of another fic but you don't need to read the original to follow this one, as it follows a character who gets less focus in the original

- about wen qing and her interactions over the years with jin guangyao, in an au where she's imprisoned by him and helping him, after surviving leaving the burial mounds

- a great look at wen qing and her choices, and what she is and isn't able to do to affect things, and what she's willing to help with

- 2k words in length


Bird on the Wire, by villainousfriend (katzenfabrik)

- mdzs space au about nie huaisang and his years-long project in avenging his da-ge

- a repeated theme throughout the fic is nhs visiting and talking to back-ups that had been taken of nmj's personality before death, and the way that this makes literal how HAUNTED nhs is by his brother's absence is just sooooooo good

- the worldbuilding is great, the things that are changed from canon due to this different context are great, the anguish and monofocus of nhs are great

- I AM ALL EMOTIONS ;_;

- 8k words in length


mutual aid, by verity

- mdzs wangxian modern-with-cultivation au where lwj is a trans man and wwx is a trans woman

- and ahhhh it just makes me so emotional about how GREAT wangxian are!!!

- wonderfully integrated characters/plot into a world they inhabit where friends and work and weird tastes in books are part of their lives, and also, lwj and wwx find each other and are immediately obsessed with each other, finding something in each other that allow them to best be themselves

- so many very funny details also, at the same time that it's many feelings

- 10k words in length


how Yao Yongzheng traveled back in time to save everyone, by ShippersList

- mdzs/cql time travel au fic where Sect Leader Yao travels back in time at the point of his death, and intends to Make Changes For The Better

- a funny and fun look at how things happen, with and without his intervention!

- 6k words in length


lotus blossoms out of season, by Kieron_ODuibhir

- mdzs/cql canon divergence au, where instead of mxy sacrificing himself to resurrect wwx, jc sacrifices himself to resurrect jyl

- jyl and wn and mxy eat soup together about it

- and jyl grapples with how she feels about everything that happened. and what she's going to do next

- and like. DANG I love it!!!

- 5k words in length


the mountain, by verity

- mdzs songxuexiao t4t4t modern au where they're grad students in china

- I had the pleasure of getting to see this fic as it came together, and the thought and care verity puts into their writing is always so evident in their beautifully written and beautifully constructed stories!

- from song lan's pov as he watches creepy stalker xue yang entwine herself into his bff (and object of pining) xiao xingchen's life

- sl DOESN'T trust xy, he DOES find it super hot to put her in her place and have sex with her, he DOES struggle to be fully vulnerable with xxc despite everything she is to him

- the vibes are so good, I love how real and present each character and their complex emotions about each other are, and I love the way the theme of the weather runs through the whole fic holding things together

- highly recommend!

- 12k words in length

OTHER STUFF: 1 original 10-min movie, 1 torchwood/doctor who fic, 1 original short story

this 10 min space movie made by one person in her apartment starring herself as every character is SO GOOD, I loved it


Hi, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, by Frostfire

- it has been many years since I first read this fic but the memory of it will never leave me. it's an all-time classic.

- fanfiction shipping Jack Harkness of Torchwood/Doctor Who with Chewbacca of Star Wars

- Jack Harkness sees a cute wookiee in a bar and picks him up for a night of fun

- it's perfectly in character and delightful. I'm so glad it exists in this world.

- 3k words in length


The Jaxicans' Authentic Reconstruction of Taco Tuesday #37, by Stephen Granade

- according to the author on their mastodon, this short story is about "authenticity, purpose, existential dread, and being resurrected by far future aliens to work your shitty fast food job" and you know, I don't think I can sum it up better than that

- does a great job integrating and interrogating these themes in a fun and satisfying story

- and now I want guacamole

- 5k words in length

Recs round-up for the month of March, 2024! This month we have:

1 Nirvana in Fire fanwork

Go Forward Slowly, by burnt_oranges

- a post-canon jingyan/mei changsu nif fic in which jingyan discovers that mcs survived after all...and never let jingyan know.

- jingyan is uh. not handling it well, the loneliness and responsibility of being emperor. and this only makes it worse!

- anyway it's a venue for lots of real good angst, and I definitely cried at one point!

- I also really appreciate the use it makes of various secondary characters who are also important figures in jingyan's life

- many feels. I love these characters. there IS a happy ending.

- 31k words in length

2 TGCF fanworks

Never Look Away, by dkwilliams

- hualian fanvid of the TGCF donghua set to Vienna Teng's "Never Look Away"

- ahhhhh it's just very feelings!!!!

- audio is song-only

- youtube video includes lyric captions

- 3:16 in length


Ten Feet Behind, by thetrickisnotminding

- tgcf quanyin canon divergence au where quan yizhen finds the coffin containing the guoshi fangxin

- a fun look at a different way for xie lian and hua cheng to meet again, and for quan yizhen and yin yu to meet again!

- 9k words in length

3 CQL/MDZS fanworks

in the tall weeds, by cordial

- sangyao fic set during the qinghe era of jgy’s life

- a look at trans man meng yao and his experience of his gender, and nie huaisang experimenting with transfemininity

- a beautiful look at the complexities of identity, the precarity of position, and the connection between jgy and nhs

- 1k words in length


A Good Fit, by nirejseki

- canon divergence fic where young Meng Yao goes to the Lan Sect to learn cultivation as a guest, instead of trying to be accepted into Jin

- I had a lot of fun with the route this fix-it took!

- and I enjoyed that it included friendship between Meng Yao and Su She <3

- 5k words in length


Practical Mythology, by metisket

- a fun cute look at a cql wangxian time travel fixit au, where wwx is the alarming immortal who fixed the burial mounds and will grant wishes to deserving people, and lwj meets him for the first time at 8 years old and decides he'll marry him

- I enjoyed the look at how this au has changed things for all sorts of different people across the cultivation world, and the ways in which wwx both is indeed extremely powerful and also is someone who still has his blind spots and emotional vulnerabilities

- lots of different povs throughout the fic which is fun too!

- 17k words in length

5 SVSSS fanworks

Oversharing is Caring, by Prudabaga

- bingqiu fic where during the trial in jinlan city, sqq is given a truth serum that comes with a side of lowered inhibitions

- nobody is prepared for the kinds of truths sqq wants to share (thoughtful and detailed list of who's hottest)

- or, tbh, for the truths that come out by the wayside

- funny and cute

- 4k words in length


Sweet Dreams Are Made of This, Prudabaga

- another bingqiu fic about the jinlan city encounter going differently, this time because lbh has visited sqq's dreams

- and sqq has a Totally Very Straight Of Himself tendency to have sexy dreams about lbh

- hard for lbh to believe that sqq wants nothing to do with him after that! (he's still very confused tho)

- love this for them

- 26k words in length


right from the start, I gave you my heart, by nex_et_nox

- sqq is hit by an obedience curse! uh oh, it's time for the mission to jinlan city!

- fun sqq & sqh interaction, and sqq's first meeting with lbh post-abyss going very differently than in svsss

- sqq absolutely out here making his own life harder on a regular basis

- lots of fun with this trope!

- 11k words in length


cleanse your life of me, by ambrorussa

- svsss au where sy transmigrates into yqy instead of sqq

- the fic is in two parts: first, from sy!yqy's pov as he tries to change events within the parameters the system allows him, and then the second from og!sqq's pov follows where the first part left off, with sqq trying to deal with the fact that yqy is so different now from the one he remembers.

- the two parts are different in tone and both excellent, both really fitting the kind of character and person the pov character is, and what it is they want the most. I loved it!

- endgame ships: liushen & qijiu

- 11k words in length


Scenario: Fix-It Fic, by lettered

- bingqiu fic where due to System shenanigans sqq travels back in time to when he first encountered lbh in jinlan city post-abyss

- sqq does his best to make things go differently this time, within the parameters of the genre "h/c fic" which the system tells him he is now in

- I'm just! so delighted by so much about this fic!

- and I love how the fic plays metatextually with its own fourth wall in ways I haven't really seen much in svsss fic before!

- fic is a WIP; as of my initial rec on mastodon there are 14k words; satisfying to read as is

1 academic article on the gendering of trans voices

"Transgender voices: Insights on identity, embodiment, and the gender of the voice" (2018, Language and Linguistics Compass)

- this free-to-read academic article is an overview of the features of a voice that lead people to read that voice as a particular gender

- it pushes back against the traditional view of male vs female voices, of pitch being the main deciding factor in gendering voices, and of a voice's gender being immutable

- it's a pretty accessible read, IMO!

- 16 pages in length; 12 pages if you discount the list of references

2 short stories

The Three Thousand, Four Hundred Twenty-Third Law of Robotics, by Adam-Troy Castro

- really more of a prose poem than a standard short story

- about the experience of being a robot given unfair orders under unbreakable laws

- a satisfying read and I loved the structure

- 2k words in length


Afflictions of the New Age, by Katherine Ewell

- A sci-fi short story about an elderly woman hundreds of years old, making use of every life extending treatment she can, but her grasp on time and on memory is no longer good

- Focuses on her relationship with her family, with her home aide, with her fear of death, with her experience of the confusion of past and present

- Evocative melancholy wistful tone, really effective!

- At the end of the story I'm left with many questions, but in a good way

- 4k words in length

1 novella

On the English Approach to the Study of History, by E. Saxey

- huh, in the end I'm not entirely convinced I LIKE this novella but it's odd and compelling and interesting for sure

- about the academic study of history in a context where a very specific subset of people have access to a very specific subset of historical figures to ask them directly about what they remember

- asking questions about who's an insider vs an outsider in academic study, about the values of different approaches to history

- ultimately I think it turned too much into a story about the fantastical elements in the narrative and didn't engage as deeply with the themes as I thought it would at the beginning

- but it's still a very interesting and well done story and I'm glad I read it!

- 22k words in length

Once again time for my monthly recs round-up! This month you will find:

9 mdzs/cql recs
2 nirvana in fire recs
5 svsss recs
1 tortall rec
1 word of honor rec
6 poetry/short story/novelette recs
1 youtube video essay rec
1 zine rec

MDZS/CQL

MDZS/CQL


Rule the World, by remellow

- cql fanvid about wei wuxian as the yiling laozu, set to the Lorde song Everybody Wants to Rule the World

- incredible ominous vibes threaded through with the pain of everything that happens

- beautifully edited! I was hooked from the start

- 2:33 in length

- thanks to lookitmychicken for the rec!


Tucked inside the heart of every nice girl, by phnelt

- I've read this fic before but today I had call to reread it and it's still SO good

- t4t jzx/jyl!!!! always into this, in every permutation

- cql/mdzs modern au jin zixuan is a trans woman finding her gender euphoria in the midst of the work of being a woman under patriarchy, and jiang yanli, in watching her, realises just how much every aspect of being a woman has been a burden and not a joy for herself

- the relationship jyl has with gender here is so good and makes so much sense for the character!

- I love how careful jyl is to not ever stifle jzx's baby trans joy, even as jyl is struggling

- 4k words in length


Borne, by Cordial

- cql fic

- after wen qing's execution, she ends up sharing jiang cheng's body!

- they're both dealing with so MUCH at this point in the narrative, and they're so careful with each other now that they are tied together like this, and it's so gorgeous

- 3k words in length


All I Really Want, by trelkez

- a cql vid about Wei Wuxian & Wen Qing

- ahhhhhh I have SO MANY feels about them and this vid GETS them

- ouchy in the best way

- audio is solely the music

- no subtitles

- 4:41 in length

- thanks to lesbianwangyibo for the rec!


Reunion Dinner | 团圆饭, by vivisextion

- mdzs/cql, post-canon, jiang cheng realises jin ling has never tasted his mother's soup

- cue the epic quest to learn how to recreate it, and the things he learns along the way

- lovely fic about family and about food

- 4k words in length

- thanks to stultiloquentia for the rec!


The Other Mountain, by nirejseki

- omggg I tore through this fic SO fast and had SO much fun with it

- mdzs lan qiren/wen ruohan arranged marriage!

- I'm always here for fic that's like "okay this ship might sound ridiculous but WHAT IF --" and then comes up with genius ways to make it plausible

- there's fun character interactions and fascinating plot and it does interesting things exploring the situation between Qingheng-Jun and his wife, and I love how much lan qiren loves rules and has carefully considered what they mean wrt right behaviour

- I love this vision of lqr so much, and I love how FUNNY the interactions between lqr and wrh are, and how well these interpretations of the characters work with each other and play off each other in mutually beneficial ways!

- the fic started off a little slow but once I was into it I was INTO IT and read every word with relish

- completely delightful. do recommend.

- 287,000 words in length


Spilled Pearls, by nirejseki

- another mdzs lan qiren/wen ruohan canon divergence au! and also wen ruohan/nie dad at the same time

- this one follows lqr from when he's a young teen and it's very fun to see his changing perspectives on wrh over time

- I enjoyed it a great deal, and also it's fun to see what is and isn't the same between this fic and the others by the same author featuring these characters and ships

- and I just want MORE!

- 89k words in length


Tricks of the Trade, by nirejseki

- a reread, just as fun the second time as the first

- mdzs, jin guangyao/lan qiren!

- jgy coming up with schemes to get hugs from lqr and accidentally developing a relationship of mutual respect and care which changes the trajectory of jgy's life goals

- it's so delightful

- getting bits of lqr's perspectives on the whole course of events at the end, in the form of excerpts from his diary, is incredible for recontextualising what was happening from his pov

- 31k words in length


of all the gin joints in all the world, by bloodletter

- cql, jiang cheng/nie huaisang

- a post-canon fic, running into each other at an inn and Not Talking About Things

- a wonderful little interlude of finding space to have a bit of something fun

- because sometimes the opportunity to not talk about things, and not even think about things, is what you want the most!

- even though everything that happened IS still there. but you're with someone else who knows and understands and has seen you since before anything went bad.

- it's great

- 1k words in length

NIRVANA IN FIRE

NIRVANA IN FIRE

Never knew a part of you / you didn't set in ink, by BromeliadDreams

- Nirvana in Fire fic about Cai Quan/Shen Zhui!!!!!! god I love these nerds

- Reading fic about their comfortable relationship with each other as they argue and work and engage in endless bureaucracy just filled me with enormous fondness for them both

- they should be a thriving ship in the fandom and it's a tragedy there's not more fic about them, but this one is GREAT.

- 3k words in length


our hands our hearts are empty, by egelantier

- NiF canon divergence fic where Jingyan is called back to the capital to an arranged marriage with a young maiden named Mei Changsu

- I love seeing what is and what is not different in the plans and in how the two of them relate to each other, in this changed context!

- some great cameos from other characters too

- what a fun and satisfying read!

- 10k words in length

SVSSS

SVSSS


Ignorance Leads to Bliss, by Tainaron

- An svsss qijiu canon divergence fic, about things that might have happened while lbh was still a very young disciple to change the course of events

- I love how small the things are that cause these changes, and that it's a small unthinking kindness from yqy to his own disciples that in a winding way leads to his own happiness

- as the author says, these two are freak4freak and I love it

- the desperation both of them feel about each other while being unable to talk about any of it!

- 11k words in length


petal and vine, by aibari

- an SVSSS bingqiu fanfic wherein sqq wakes up in his plant body with amnesia and makes a home in the small village nearby, blessing its crops

- lbh eventually comes through looking for his shizun, and sqq helps him

- trying to find the right words to describe the tone or flavour of a piece of writing can be so hard but imo that's one of the things this fic does best! it's got this like....distanced, fairy-tale, dreamy vibe that really drives home how disconnected sqq is from his life and his emotions here and it's so great

- (happy ending, of course!)

- 5k words in length


raised by winter winds, by nyoomerr

- this is a fic that really understands the fundamental problem with original sqq, which is that the child abuse is real but so is the tragic backstory. he contains multitudes! one feels complex and conflicting things about him!

- ok so the fic is a canon divergence fic where shen yuan is transmigrated in early as a disciple of og!sqq, and it's a bingqiu fic but also a fic about the master-disciple relationship between sy and sqq, and also about sy's relationship with his role as head disciple on the peak

- and it's so good at all of that! I love what it does, I love all the sides of sy you get to see and all the things he cares about and puts his energies into (... and what he doesn't), it's all so perfectly him

- and aughghhhhhh I have SO MANY FEELS

- I am very emotion. I highly recommend.

- 36k words in length


Toxic, by Prim_the_Amazing

- Ming Fan/OMC, where the OC is another disciple on Qing Jing Peak

- it's truly impressively horrible, the pov of this awful bully who manipulates Ming Fan into misery and encourages Ming Fan in all of his own worst bullying tendencies

- it's so well and believably done, and so compelling!

- mind the tags on this one, it means what it says. I enjoyed the fic a lot but it's not a kind fic!

- 13k words in length


Lost and Found in Limitless Clarity, by TGP

- bingqiu postcanon fic

- lbh is miserable because sqq has died again, permanently, and lbh blames himself

- this weird recluse Shang Yuan is a compelling mystery for lbh to investigate though......

- the fic is deliciously full of angst and misunderstandings and attempts to learn from the past

- 75k words in length

TORTALL

TORTALL


A Personal Challenge, by bobbiewickham

- fic for the Tortall books, in epistolary form

- Alanna was forbidden from challenging Wyldon to a duel because she was king's Champion, but obviously as soon as she's not anymore, she goes for it

- various people react

- it's perfect. it's delightful. it's everything.

- 2k words in length

WORD OF HONOR

WORD OF HONOR


A Little Bit Ghost Valley, by alpheratz_vids

- a Word of Honor vid focusing on Wen Kexing. I have never seen any of the show and do not know who any of these people are and it's still so fun!

- stylish and snappily edited and confident

- audio is solely the music

- subtitles available

- 2:04 in length

- thanks to lesbianwangyibo for the rec!

ORIGINAL POETRY/SHORT STORY/NOVELETTE

ORIGINAL POETRY/SHORT STORY/NOVELETTE


Merciful Even to Scorpions, by Kay Chronister

- in a village where people possessed by demons are turned into javelinas, cared for by a pig-boy for the rest of their lives, what happens when the new pig-boy has a little too much empathy for his charges?

- excellent use of fantasy alternate world to engage with questions of the failures of the justice system and the penal system, and the ways people become complicit with the system

- really well done pov character

- 5k words in length


Also, the Cat, by Rachel Swirsky

- an original story about ghosts and toxic family dynamics and feeling trapped

- the three sisters who are the main characters are all difficult people in their own way, and all fully-realized characters I truly believe in

- I loved that it's a story where the moral isn't "family should always stick together." family can be wonderful but it can also be awful, and sometimes you're better off apart

- 14k words in length


The Naming of Knots, by M.A. Carrick

- an original story that I believe to be set in the same world as Carrick's Rook & Rose trilogy, which I haven't read yet but which is on my tbr list

- having read this story and enjoyed it definitely increases my interest in that trilogy!

- this one's about a thief who gets talked into helping a legend steal information to get back at people who misuse their positions of power

- the importance of public infrastructure! the usefulness of recordkeeping! the will to carry out audacious crime!

- fun and interesting and I want to know more about this world

- 9k words in length


I'll Be Your Mirror, by Rebecca Schneider

- an original story about AI personhood, and about the bond between one AI who is different from the others, and their bond with a human who is different from other humans

- it's also about the difficulties of caregiving during a pandemic, and the toll it takes

- a beautiful, quiet, tender story about finding where you belong, no matter what others think

- and ultimately, in my read, about a neurodivergent robot and a queerplatonic relationship, which like. AS ALWAYS, TAKE ME TO THERE. I'm here for it.

- 6k words in length


Then Came the Ghost of My Dead Mother, Antikleia, by Nadia Radovich

- about grief and loss; losing a parent young, and losing access to that parent's culture and language; and about holding on to what things you can

- the story isn't specific about exactly what happened in the disaster when the main character was a young child but the hints are enough to be pretty dark

- beautiful, longing, sharp and bittersweet

- second person pov

-1k words in length


My Last Duke, by Jess Nevins

- narrative poetry from the pov of a dead woman to her terrible husband's new wife

- really fun and compelling to read on in a vacuum, but also it is clearly written in response to Browning's famous poem "My Last Duchess" and is from the pov of the dead woman that poem is about!

- also seems to be an alternate history narrative? again you don't need to know this to appreciate the poem but after reading it I had to look up the characters involved. POV character is Lucrezia de' Medici, her terrible husband is Alfonso II d'Este, but as far as I can tell the new wife is someone who in irl history died in infancy: Isabella, daughter of Charles III of Savoy.

- and now I really want to know more about the history of the time period and the ways that this would have affected things and why the author made these choices for the story of the poem!

- anyway. I like the poem. it's good.

- 1k words in length

YOUTUBE VIDEO ESSAY

YOUTUBE VIDEO ESSAY


Ranking Every 2023 Historical Drama on Costume Accuracy, by Bernadette Banner

- bernadette banner on youtube has been in the habit for a few years of putting out a video rating the historical accuracy of costumes from tv/movies of the previous year, and each year the video gets longer and includes more guest experts for other cultures she's not as intimately familiar with, and this year's video for 2023 was SO much fun!

- I loved hearing about all these different time periods in different parts of the world from people who know what they're talking about, and seeing how very wrong (or right!) various media gets the details

- no subtitles

- video is 2 hr 20 min long

ZINE

ZINE


Fucking Trans Women, by Mira Bellwether

- I have never read a piece quite like this before and it's incredible

- the structure, the way she arranges the order in which she leads you through her thoughts!

- the many informative details, and the encouragement, and the desire for a conversation!

- and I love the way she talks about bodies, and celebrating the things about bodies that are soft and that require a delicate touch

- 80 pages long; word count hard to calculate

In November I started doing a thing where whenever I read a story or a fic that I enjoyed, I quickly wrote up a brief rec for it and posted it directly to my mastodon account. I am amazed at how much I'm enjoying doing this, and how well it works for me! But this means that I have now built up a backlog of recs that I want to share to my dreamwidth and tumblr as well. So I think going forward I'll post a roundup once a month of the past month's recs, so that y'all can see them as well!

Here's the November ones! Featuring:

7 TGCF fics
13 SVSSS fics
1 MDZS fic
1 NiF fic
1 Persuasion (Jane Austen) fic
2 multifandom vids
5 short stories
3 novelettes


( TGCF recs )



( SVSSS recs )



( MDZS recs )



( NiF recs )



( Persuasion recs )



( Multifandom recs )



( Short story recs )



( Novelette recs )

I was having a conversation with some folks on mastodon a little while ago about the practice of reading fics for fandoms you're not familiar with, and why it works for some people and not others. I understand both approaches, but I am firmly in the camp of being happy to read a fic whether I know the fandom or not, as long as it looks interesting to me!

The particular pleasures are different, but both ways are good: fic about fandoms you know is pleasurably wallowing in an ongoing conversation about something you love (...or love to hate), whereas fic for unfamiliar fandoms is having fun eavesdropping on someone else's conversation and working out a puzzle while enjoying a good story.

But some fics work better than others for reading without canon to contextualize them, and although I'm up for some challenges, you don't actually have to play this game on hard-mode. So I'm here to provide a rec list of fics I have enjoyed without canon knowledge that I think are more broadly successful for that purpose. I hope you find some to enjoy here too!

Arranged alphabetically by fandom.


The Improbable Future, by marycontraire

6k words, not rated

The fandom: crossover between Boy Meets World and Girl Meets World, which are presumably related to each other, though I don't even know what medium they are in.

The fic: A story about family, especially the relationship between a preteen girl and the surrogate father figure in her life. Extremely heartwarming!


Sentimental Reasons, by Frostfire

16k words, rated T

The fandom: Casablanca, one of those famous classic black and white movies, about war

The fic: focuses on the story of a character who is a minor character in the original movie, which allows you to follow the story easily without knowing the original. All Sam wants to do with his life is play music, but racism and war have a tendency to intervene. The story revolves around his relationship with another man, Richard. I love Sam, and I love his pov in this fic. It's an incredible read!


One More Time With Feeling (or, Charlie Brooker and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day), by marginaliana

50k words, rated E

The fandom: british comedians rpf, ft. comedians I've never heard of

The fic: Timeloop! The classic groundhog day experience! And this was a really impressively done timeloop fic. I was particularly impressed with how well the character arc for the protagonist went from totally-an-appalling-asshole to only-normal-level-sympathetic-asshole, and how it shows some of the ways that being in a timeloop can be really awful. And yet - happy ending! Impressive.


The Retirement of Gabriel Argent, by Sixthlight

5k words, rated T

The fandom: Daniel Blackland, which is, I believe, a book series?

The fic: is about two characters who are not Daniel Blackland. It's about finding a way to live a peaceful life that actually makes you happy, when you never thought such a thing would be possible. It's lovely!


go pick out a white dress, by novembersmith

1k words, rated G

The fandom: Deepwater Bride, by Tamsyn Muir, which I'm guessing is a short story.

The fic: a delightful uhhhh one-sided romance about an eldritch sea monster who is really into a human, much to the dismay of, well, everyone. But the eldritch being will not be disheartened! Such a charming voice.


Hesitation Waltz, by cranialaccessory

20k words, rated T

The fandom: From Eroica With Love, which I know literally nothing about

The fic: Two cold war era spies have to pretend to be married for a case. One of them is flamboyant and foppish, the other is grouchy and bad at acting. Together they learn things about teamwork and trust! (and that they're into each other.)


confirmation bias, by novembersmith

14k words, rated E

The fandom: Integrate, which I'm guessing is a book

The fic: This is the fic that instantly came to mind when I first thought of making this rec list. I love it. It's a totally adorable alien/human interspecies romance, from the pov of the alien, who of course finds the human the alien one. Every single thing in the fic is a delight.


Get Up, and Go Forth, by Frostfire

15k words, rated T

The fandom: the tv show Kings, which I once tried and failed to watch, but is loosely based on the biblical story of David and Jonathan

The fic: Hey, it works just fine as bible fanfic instead! (I'm afraid I don't know how it would read if you aren't familiar with the biblical story. My parents were rigorous about making sure I would be biblically literate.) The fic focuses on the Jonathan character, here called Jack, as he explores what it means to be on David's side instead of his father's. I have reread this fic so many times. It's just so well done!


A Divinely Attractive Arrangement, by Fahye

6k words, rated T

The fandom: the movie Love and Friendship. I've read the book Love and Freindship [sic] but the movie, despite the name, is not actually based on the book!

The fic: featuring the pov of the most amiably oblivious person in the absolutely entire world as he settles into his recent marriage. He's so genuinely happy about everything in his life! Even as it is obvious to the reader how much the other characters in the story are manipulating him. I love him very much.


This Episode Brought To You By, by ryfkah

6k words, rated T

The fandom: a kdrama, Mr. Queen. Going in I did in fact know a very slim amount about the actual canon, which I believe is a useful starting point for reading the fic: it's a show about a modern chef who transmigrates into Korean history, into the body of a queen; the queen, meanwhile, ends up in the future in the chef's body.

The fic: is about both the chef and the queen, as they explore their identity and their desires through the medium of food, and it is a complete delight.


Sweet In the Gale Is Heard, by Toft

11k words, rated T

The fandom: Pegasus, by Robin McKinley, a novel I've never read despite generally being a McKinley fan because I heard it ends on a cliffhanger and the sequel was never published.

The fic: A fixit for the cliffhanger! Interspecies romance between a human and a pegasus, and absolutely lovely.


Things Which Catch the Eye, by petrichoral

3k words, rated G

The fandom: The Pillow Book, by Sei Shonagon, which is a book I have heard of often over the years but have never actually read.

The fic: ships Sei Shonagon with another woman who presumably appears in the book as well, showing the arc of their relationship in short snatches that come together skilfully. Truly excellent.


you wait and you wonder who'll take on your odds, by paperclipbitch

138k words, rated E

The fandom: The Queen's Gambit, a tv show which I gather is about chess

The fic: An "exes to friends to spouses to lovers" marriage of convenience story. I love how well balanced this is between all the different aspects of things going on: the feelings between Beth and Benny, the working out how to make a life together (separate from the feelings), the chess, the simmering sexual attraction, the other people in Beth's life who are important to her, and Beth's understanding of herself. Really good!


Lebenswerk, by Serena

10k words, rated T

The fandom: Sunset Boulevard, a classic movie about movie-making

The fic: A director's relationship with his star actor, and the things he does and doesn't choose to prioritize over the years. It is interesting, and also rather uncomfortable in places, in ways that are entirely fitting to the story. I was really captivated by it!


Moab, by Parhelion

13k words, rated G

The fandom: an old-school sci-fi book series called The People, by Zenna Henderson

The fic: reads like a lovely, quiet, thoughtful, and kind original scifi story itself, about a human-looking space alien orphan stranded on earth with supernatural powers he has to hide, raised by a woman he calls Aunt, as he finds his place in the world of the early 20th century.


Transformers Works, by astolat

331k words, ratings ranging from T to E

The fandom: Transformers. A tv show (or multiple?) and toys and possibly other media as well? About robot war.

The fic: this is actually a link to all of astolat's fics about transformers. Pretty much every transformers fic Astolat has written is basically: given different base assumptions about how the universe works, how to end the war. And I love all of it, omg, both the different choices of worldbuilding in each fic and also the commitment to ending the war. Pick and choose between the fics for what you want to read!


Variations on a Theme from Turandot, by Ada Hoffman

7k words, not rated

The fandom: Turandot, which I'm guessing is an opera, or maybe a ballet?

The fic: A professionally published story which also happens to be fanfic. Does what it says on the tin! I'm not quite sure I followed the ending, but somehow it works like that even so. I found it so interesting.


A Good Bargain, by Neery

11k words, rated E

The fandom: Word of Honor, a wuxia-genre tv show that I have heard goes as hard on gay themes as it possibly could within the censorship rules it was produced under.

The fic: Does the thing where someone enters a marriage of convenience, but takes their marriage vows seriously and is now firmly working on the side of their spouse. And in this case the spouse knows this about them and planned it on purpose! DELIGHTFUL. I adore it.

For yuletide this year my author did the SWEETEST thing and got their hands on a copy of the out of print children's book I've been wanting fic for for.....decades possibly, and I finally got my fic about Beth! now I just want more fic about Beth lol.

Anyway I have finished going through the entire yuletide archive, reading every single fic that caught my attention! AWW YEAH I continue to win at Completing Yuletide. As always I'm sure there are fics I might have loved that I accidentally missed, but I am proud of my accomplishments nonetheless. And now, before the anon period is over, my recs of the 10 fics I liked the best, in 10 different fandoms!


you could cut ties with all the lies (that you've been living in)
Nirvana in Fire, Lin Chen/Xiao Jingyan

The one where Lin Chen goes to the capital under the name Mei Changsu to enact MCS's plans on his behalf, so tht MCS could rest and recuperate! Genius premise, enacted with perfection, and it's also 26k long and yet I spent basically the ENTIRE THING screaming silently to myself in my head because everything was so incredible and perfect and delightful. Holy shit.


my wife doesn't know I hench, the evil sex ray made my employees do it, and more
Hench/Ask a Manager crossover, Alison Green

Once upon a time I spent a LOT of time following the Ask A Manager blog closely, and this fic is a PERFECT pastiche of the style, with spot-on advice, in a hypothetical post themed on questions from henches working for supervillains. Incredible!


The Soul Selects Her Own Society
Jane Eyre, Jane & Helen

In which Helen's spirit continues to follow Jane and protect her, after Helen's death. And Bertha can see ghosts! I loved it.


bury me as it pleases you
Hamlet, Hamlet/Horatio

A short look at Horation's pov. The prose and use of language and wit felt just right, and Horatio's adoration too!


Paris, in some unknown region of space
Petit-Cénacle RPF/Star Trek crossover, Théophile Gautier/James Kirk

It's the one that ships Gautier with Kirk, and like, does its VERY best with that premise. The sheer French Romanticism of it all! Gautier is so unphased by everything, and is just here to be delighted by it all! What a brilliant thing to exist in this world. No idea how this would read to someone who doesn't know about Gautier and French Romanticism, but one of my mutuals on tumblr loves Gautier so I am part of the correct audience :D


The Scarlet Cloak
The Eagle of the Ninth, Cottia/Esca/Marcus

Post-canon, and ahhhhh and the complexities of the relationships between the three of them as they navigate making a household together despite the huge gaps in their understandings of each other is SO good!!!!


Heuristic Analysis
The Murderbot Diaries, Three

It's about Three working hard to figure out how to make decisions as an independent person, and what it wants, and doing a great job of it! and I love the ending! What a good.


Addendum
Homeward Bounders, Vanessa Macready & Joris & Helen Haras-Uquara (& Jamie by absence)

Three letters to Jamie left on various worlds by his friends for him to come across. Each letter has the PERFECT voice for the character in question, and each world is also a stealth crossover (I knew two of the three and they were amazing, but you don't need to know the crossovers to appreciate the fic!). And I love the implications towards trying to find a fixit for Jamie as well!


Time Enough
Vorkosigan Saga (Ethan of Athos), Cee/Ethan

A lengthy and in-depth look at what it's like to live on Athos, and the depth of cultural knowledge you need to know when moving there from galactic space, as Cee and Ethan work out their relationship with each other. I loved the worldbuilding and I loved the growing trust and intimacy between the two of them and the very understandable issues that they need to learn to talk about!


The Rose Realizes she is an Instrument of War
Arm Joe/Les Miserables, Cosette/Marius

An absolutely incredible mashup of the conceit of the fighting game Arm Joe with the story of Les Mis, it's perfectly integrated in a wonderfully Hugolian way, the worldbuilding is AMAZING and I love Cosette and her experiments with her power. A perfect fic????


(and two runners-up, because if the Lin Chen fic hadn't existed, there are TWO other NiF fics that could have made the cut for top 10: wish we could turn back time ft lin shu/mei changsu in a possibly-a-dream, possibly-time-travel scenario, and From Moth Back Into Caterpillar, ft mei changsu becoming an amnesiac lin shu for a day.)