A Fan's Playground

Time for monthly recs again!!! a delicious selection for you from the month of April.

6 TGCF fics

flew like a moth to you, by Euphorion

- space au featuring ling wen/yushi huang, HELLO

- yushi huang's deliberate mysteriousness, and the way she uses it to flirt and get the upper hand with ling wen!

- ling wen enjoying having something to research that's for FUN instead of for work!

- the interesting development of the setting, and ways the characters and backstories have been tweaked to fit!

- LOVED IT.

- 4k words in length


these are the streets of favour, by bloodletter

- a fanfic about ling wen and pei ming, written for mxtx remix as a remix of my ling wen fic

- SHRIEKING. FLAILING. CLAWING AT MY FACE IN DELIGHT. I am so honoured that my fic could inspire this piece of absolute perfection

- the dynamics between Ling Wen and Pei Ming throughout are soooooo good. the affection and the insults combined, the way selfishness is manifested differently in each of them and the way it does and doesn't affect their connection

- ling wen nonsexually domming pei ming!

- the vibes of three tumours are so perfectly rancid!

- and the unofficial junior official chats!

- the way heaven in general thinks about ling wen's takeover!

- I'm just. blown away. this fic is EVERYTHING to me.

- 2k words in length


joy thief this human heart, by tshirt

- hello impeccable gothic vibes beefleaf

- also, doing great things with gender. also, contains MUFFING. (thank u Fucking Trans Women for teaching me about muffing)

- this is so beefleaf. I love them both so much <3

- 2k words in length


A Lose-Lose Situation, by eggfish

- omggg this is exactly the kind of dynamics I love to see between Feng Xin and Mu Qing during the Xianle era

- fx and xl are so SWEET together and fx and mq are so....united in their mutual disdain for each other and how they're connected with each other

- and how sex with each other doesn't actually change any part of that for fengqing; they have a good time having hatesex, they still hate each other, they're connected forever via their hatred for each other and their mutual love of xl, and their mutual inability to understand /how/ the other approaches their love for xl

- it's just so good!!!!

- 3k words in length


Only The Sword Remaining, by biasto_bias

- a compellingly painful fic about xie lian testing the limits of wu ming's devotion, leading to a sexual encounter that neither of them feel great about

- it's so very them for that period in their history: xie lian trying to push wu ming away because he thinks wu ming is better off elsewhere but doing it by being horrible to him, and wu ming feeling an awful mix of self-loathing and heady excitement for getting to be touched this way by dianxia

- 1k words in length

- thanks to roland for the rec that brought this fic to my attention!


talking to strangers, by bloodletter

- beefleaf prior to the black water arc

- sqx and her bff ming-xiong go to a party together! sqx explains to the hostess why ming-xiong is such a good friend, and it's definitely not about sex!

- they absolutely do have really good sex sometimes though. including at this party.

- the dynamics between sqx and hx are soooo good

- and ditto sqx having a great time being a beautiful woman at multiple after-parties, after the mid-autumn banquet

- what a delightful little gem of a fic

- 2k words in length

7 SVSSS fics & 1 SVSSS podcast

Cottage, by biasto_bias

- extremely cute bingqiu being pleased with themselves and having sex about it

- one of the tags is "bingqiu-typical bad consent etiquette" lol and that's accurate

- I love them and they're disasters <3

- 1k words in length


I listened to the first episode of The Scum Villain's Self-Summarizing Podcast today and I adore it already omg. only four episodes so far alas but it consists of one person summarizing svsss chapter by chapter to someone else who does not know it and it's SUCH a great way to relive the story!


a story about nothing in particular, by relationshipcrimes

- post-canon bingqiu

- sqq is in the sort of epilogue where absolutely nothing happens, no matter what some people might say. there's no storyline and he's definitely not experiencing character development!

- this was SUCH a delightful read omg. extremely bingqiu of them!

- I've been thinking a lot about bingqiu's sexual dynamics of late due to my current wip, and I can say authoritatively that this fic Understands them

- 18k words in length


everyone knows; we saw for ourselves, by bosbie

- svsss gen fic about ning yingying and ming fan, reacting to the news about luo binghe becoming the sect leader of huan hua

- nyy and mf only know what they've seen, and their shizun is dead and luo binghe is behaving as if he has no love or loyalty left in him

- oof this is so GOOD, I had emotions at the end!!!

- 2k words in length


the rise and fall of @ peerlesscucumber, by Allpiesforourown

- reverse transmigration bingqiu story, told through the forum posts of peerless cucumber, cucumber bro's fans, shizunsheavenlykitten, and all the people who think shizunsheavenlykitten is a tradwife

- a quick and fun read! I loved seeing the other internet people being endlessly baffled by bingqiu

- 5k words in length


Revisions, by ParueCake (MiraEyeteeth)

- bingqiu canon divergence au where after the abyss, lbh makes his way back to qing jing peak

- lbh is determined to prove to sqq that despite his demonic nature he can be a good disciple who is worth keeping

- sqq of course takes lbh's actions very differently

- really enjoyed lbh's pov here, and the things lbh does in service of his plan!

- 15k words in length


if you make a snake blush, by corduroyserpent

- wherein zhuzhi-lang lets sqq examine him to make notes about snake demons. they're both into it.

- it's so cute!! and funny. and very them!

- 2k words in length


Oxford Blues, by raitala

- modern AU f/f moshang where they meet as college roommates

- I appreciate that it's set in a specific college and the details about it are made use of to build out the sense of setting

- I love sqh's narrative pov, she's so funny!

- I also love the glimpses we get into the cumplane friendship and into the whole....situation sqq has going on with the harem of young men who are in love with him while sqq is oblivious to how gay everything is.

- and the moshang is super cute. mbj and sqh are both bad at communicating, in very different ways, and mbj is doing her best!

- 9k words in length

6 MDZS/CQL fics

within these walls, by Shadaras

- cql/mdzs. this is a remix of another fic but you don't need to read the original to follow this one, as it follows a character who gets less focus in the original

- about wen qing and her interactions over the years with jin guangyao, in an au where she's imprisoned by him and helping him, after surviving leaving the burial mounds

- a great look at wen qing and her choices, and what she is and isn't able to do to affect things, and what she's willing to help with

- 2k words in length


Bird on the Wire, by villainousfriend (katzenfabrik)

- mdzs space au about nie huaisang and his years-long project in avenging his da-ge

- a repeated theme throughout the fic is nhs visiting and talking to back-ups that had been taken of nmj's personality before death, and the way that this makes literal how HAUNTED nhs is by his brother's absence is just sooooooo good

- the worldbuilding is great, the things that are changed from canon due to this different context are great, the anguish and monofocus of nhs are great

- I AM ALL EMOTIONS ;_;

- 8k words in length


mutual aid, by verity

- mdzs wangxian modern-with-cultivation au where lwj is a trans man and wwx is a trans woman

- and ahhhh it just makes me so emotional about how GREAT wangxian are!!!

- wonderfully integrated characters/plot into a world they inhabit where friends and work and weird tastes in books are part of their lives, and also, lwj and wwx find each other and are immediately obsessed with each other, finding something in each other that allow them to best be themselves

- so many very funny details also, at the same time that it's many feelings

- 10k words in length


how Yao Yongzheng traveled back in time to save everyone, by ShippersList

- mdzs/cql time travel au fic where Sect Leader Yao travels back in time at the point of his death, and intends to Make Changes For The Better

- a funny and fun look at how things happen, with and without his intervention!

- 6k words in length


lotus blossoms out of season, by Kieron_ODuibhir

- mdzs/cql canon divergence au, where instead of mxy sacrificing himself to resurrect wwx, jc sacrifices himself to resurrect jyl

- jyl and wn and mxy eat soup together about it

- and jyl grapples with how she feels about everything that happened. and what she's going to do next

- and like. DANG I love it!!!

- 5k words in length


the mountain, by verity

- mdzs songxuexiao t4t4t modern au where they're grad students in china

- I had the pleasure of getting to see this fic as it came together, and the thought and care verity puts into their writing is always so evident in their beautifully written and beautifully constructed stories!

- from song lan's pov as he watches creepy stalker xue yang entwine herself into his bff (and object of pining) xiao xingchen's life

- sl DOESN'T trust xy, he DOES find it super hot to put her in her place and have sex with her, he DOES struggle to be fully vulnerable with xxc despite everything she is to him

- the vibes are so good, I love how real and present each character and their complex emotions about each other are, and I love the way the theme of the weather runs through the whole fic holding things together

- highly recommend!

- 12k words in length

OTHER STUFF: 1 original 10-min movie, 1 torchwood/doctor who fic, 1 original short story

this 10 min space movie made by one person in her apartment starring herself as every character is SO GOOD, I loved it


Hi, I'm Captain Jack Harkness, by Frostfire

- it has been many years since I first read this fic but the memory of it will never leave me. it's an all-time classic.

- fanfiction shipping Jack Harkness of Torchwood/Doctor Who with Chewbacca of Star Wars

- Jack Harkness sees a cute wookiee in a bar and picks him up for a night of fun

- it's perfectly in character and delightful. I'm so glad it exists in this world.

- 3k words in length


The Jaxicans' Authentic Reconstruction of Taco Tuesday #37, by Stephen Granade

- according to the author on their mastodon, this short story is about "authenticity, purpose, existential dread, and being resurrected by far future aliens to work your shitty fast food job" and you know, I don't think I can sum it up better than that

- does a great job integrating and interrogating these themes in a fun and satisfying story

- and now I want guacamole

- 5k words in length

It's fascinating sometimes to look back at my own history of fandoms I was once obsessed with, and notice the wide variety of possible current feelings about them.

Mostly there are three axes of note: do I ever bother to seek out fanworks for it or see myself doing so in the future, or am I no longer moved to do so? If a fanwork that looks like it has promise happens to cross my path, will I read it/watch it/look at it, or just scroll on by? Do I think of the fandom with fondness and nostalgia, or do I think to myself "well glad THAT'S out of my life now"? Within these three spectra, many options are possible; and there are even some special fandoms that break the system!

A tour of some of the big ones that fit my main schema:

• Sutcliff fandom; Les Miserables; sparklefandom (hungarian musical theatre): no longer actively seek out, but I still love it dearly, and if I find myself reading a good fic for this fandom again, allllll my feels return instantly and I go feral over it again for at least the length of time it takes me to read the fic


• The Witcher: Remember it fondly, and every now and then feel moved to go searching for more content because it's what I happen to be in the mood for, but if I'm not in the mood I won't bother to read the things that happen to cross my path


• Highlander; Man from UNCLE (both original tv series and the movie remake); Star Trek; Star Wars; Yuri on Ice: won't seek out, but if something fun crosses my path, I'll take a look with pleased nostalgia


• Bandom; Due South; Good Omens; Hamilton; American Idol RPF; Inception; The Sentinel; Stargate Atlantis; White Collar: won't seek out, unlikely to read even if something crosses my path, but I remember it with fondness


• Teen Wolf: won't seek out, won't read if it crosses my path, am glad it's out of my life, and yet still remember it fondly


• Hockey RPF; Sports Night; Supernatural RPF: yeah no.

Special cases:

• Fairy tales: my first and forever fandom, I will never not care about it. I read folk tale collections semi-regularly still, and am always delighted to find good fanfic for any particular tale or for the genre in general.


• Harry Potter: won't seek out, won't promote without major caveats, probably won't read, but if something unusually interesting crosses my path, I'll take a look with a sort of exhausted knowledge that it's the fandom that made me and it is dug deep into my psyche


• MCU: totally burnt out on, will no longer read the fic, can no longer even put myself in the headspace of how I could have once cared, and yet still have a lingering fondness for Thor and the Thor movies


• Fake News: ahahaha oh god. the horror of american politics since then makes the heyday of jon stewart's daily show and stephen colbert's colbert report feel like a different world, one I can no longer access


• Doctor Who: Once upon a time it broke my heart in a very real way which took me years to get over, but now I have a very reasonable relationship with this show as my ex. I remember the good times fondly, and smile when I see a gif go by on tumblr, and am happy to hear that it has been doing fun and interesting things in recent times, and I scroll on by.

I love Doctor Who. I have loved it for five years; I have WATCHED it for five years. And I think y'all know how unusual that is, given my general inability to watch more than a few episodes of any given tv show. Doctor Who is important to me, and special to me, beyond any of my other fandoms! And...and currently I'm feeling that I have lost it.

( Cut for spoilers and personal angst )

Conversations with non-fandom people about fandom: ALWAYS HILARIOUS.

Mara and I were talking over dinner today, and I was telling her about what I'd done today.

Sophia: So I'm reading this So You Think You Can Dance AU --
Mara: Wait, you like So You Think You Can Dance now?
Sophia: No, it's a Glee fic set on So You Think You Can Dance.
Mara: Wait, you like Glee?
Sophia: No.

And this turned into me explaining AUs.

Mara: But wouldn't it make more sense to have the Glee characters on that other show?
Sophia: American Idol?
Mara: That one.
Sophia: Sure, it might make more sense, but the point of AUs isn't to make sense.

*brief interlude where I talk about things like that unicorn/rainbow AU, and the peas/ketchup AU, and so forth*

Sophia: And there are even people who take the term curtainfic (er, that means fic with domestic themes) literally, and write about the characters as curtains.
Mara: What, like, "So, Brendon, here we are hanging in front of a window. Wanna have hot sex?" "Sure, Rory!"
Sophia: *CAN'T BREATHE FOR LAUGHING*

I then proceed to explain to her exactly who Brendon and Rory are and why the idea of them together is hilarious, and wonder aloud how it would ever actually work to get them together.

Mara: Okay, you said Rory's a nurse, right? So Rory and Amy go to a concert, and there's an accident and Amy dies. And then one of the people in the band is injured and they ask the audience if there's any doctors or nurses. And Rory wants to distract himself from Amy's death so he volunteers.
Sophia: *STILL LAUGHING*
Mara: Oh, or maybe the band is travelling -- how do bands travel?
Sophia: On tourbuses
Mara: So the band is on their tourbus in the rockies or something, and Rory and Amy are driving there as well on vacation, and there's an accident and Amy dies and the band members are all injured and Rory comes onto the bus to help, and things go from there
Sophia: *STILL LAUGHING*
Mara: Yeah, that makes much more sense than the first one.
Sophia: *STILL LAUGHING*

IN CONCLUSION, if anyone feels like writing Brendon Urie/Rory Williams fic? I WOULD READ IT. Although preferably without Mara's callous treatment of Amy....:P

Tonight some friends and I rewatched Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead. ( Spoilers for those episodes and for the more recent seasons )

I am not catching myself up on my flist and rlist from being gone for an extended Easter weekend. SO MUCH TO DO IN MY REAL LIFE. SO BUSY. AHHHHH. (I hate moving. Why do I own so much clothing? Why do I own so many books? And why does there have to be MOLD on a bunch of my books? DO NOT WANT!) But! I cannot resist posting more about Doctor Who. Because let's face it, when can I ever resist ANYTHING to do with Doctor Who's awesomeness?

( So here is a bunch of spoilery discussion of The Impossible Astronaut. )

Not done catching up with f/rlists yet, even skipping over all (...most) of the fic. But I have too many posts I want to make! I was all antsy over my vacation, wanting to be able to TELL THINGS to you, O Beloved Internet! And they're too long to just all get smooshed together into a Things post, but I don't want to spam other people's f/rlists with too many posts, so I'll hold off from the others just yet.

( But let me start with Doctor Who. )

Thing one: Okay, so, Methos. Yes, yes, you're all surprised, I'm talking about Methos again. You know what Methos should have a lot of trouble with? Well, all immortals should have this problem, really. KEEPING UP WITH MODERN VOCABULARY AND SLANG. Because language changes, gradually, over time. And over the course of a mortal person's life, generally they fall behind on modern lingo too, hence why kids always laugh at their parents when they try to talk "hip". Because you lose track of the new words that come into the language.

Now, if a person were really making an effort, they could probably more or less keep up with most, but inevitably when you're tired or drunk or not paying attention, bits of older vocabulary would sneak in without you realizing, because you'd forget that, oh, right, people don't really use that word anymore.

And when you've lived through THE ENTIRETY OF THE LIFE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, that's a lot of old versions of vocabulary and grammar to have carefully and slowly shifted through over your life.

So when you think about it, it's really impressive that when Methos talks, there's nothing about his speech that pings as slightly old-fashioned. But now I really want to see drunk!Methos accidentally using bits of archaic vocabulary.


Thing Two: I was talking about Doctor/Master last night with sentientcitizen, as one does, and -- okay, the Doctor and Master are really not actually healthy for each other, and yet I ship it anyways. Why? One would think that I would want what's best for characters I like, right? But APPARENTLY NOT! Apparently I'm totally okay with the two of them being really fucked up about each other!


Thing Three: ( Spoilers for the Buffy episode Superstar )


Thing Four: What's ridiculous fun: to play First Person Tetris in night mode. (hint: try playing it on non-night-mode first, so you know how this version of tetris works) For the first LONG WHILE of playing it I kept on flailing both verbally and physically because it is so disconcerting. But FUN! And now I'm actually not horrible at it, though I keep on having these moments where my instincts make me suddenly go HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG

Let's talk about sex, since all of fandom seems unable to think of anything but. And who am I to ignore fandom's True Love? It may or may not be clear to you yet, dear (probably nonexistent) reader, but I have of late been thinking a great deal about asexuality, especially as it relates to fandom. The only fic I have thus far posted was about a non-sexual relationship (with, in my mind, one of the two characters being asexual). My last post talked about the Doctor as asexual. The fic I'm currently editing in order to post has a character who believes she's asexual for a while.

I find that I am more likely than most people to see characters as asexual. The Doctor for example, as I previously mentioned. Or Spock. As far as I can tell, Vulcans are functionally asexual whenever they're not in Pon Farr, which is most of the time (oh, they may deep down be having sexual feelings, but those are FEELINGS and to be ruthlessly repressed. Also sex is something that tends to break one's control of one's self, which I can't see Vulcans willingly involving themselves in. Which means that Vulcans may or may not have sexual desires, but either way they wouldn't go about having sex or even thinking about sex. Which means then that nearly ALL the lovely Kirk/Spock fic out there reads to me as automatically out of character. Now I don't mind too much, as I really do enjoy K/S fic. I just wish that there were a few more authors who would treat Spock's sexuality a little more like what I see as canon. Actually, I wish there were more fics out there about asexual characters at ALL. But fandom appears to be mostly slash-centric.

Not that I'm complaining too much, since I do enjoy a good slash fic meself. In fact I really love slash fic dearly (and surprisingly strongly since I was only converted to slash about eight months ago. I blame SGA. And in particular I blame Rodney and John for being so awesome together. And I blame A Beautiful Lifetime Event by shalott for introducing me to their awesomeness)

I am in fact very interested in the wide varieties of sexuality expressed within fandom. I just also happen to be less interested in the actual, y'know, sex. Unlike what appears to be a lot of the fandom world, I do not read fanfic solely for the joy of the smut scenes. I in fact find it annoying when a sex scene is stuck in and slows down the plot. Now I'm not saying I'm AGAINST sex scenes; I'm just against GRATUITOUS sex scenes. If there is a reason why the characters have to be sexing it up, some part of the emotional arc or plot arc that needs the sex, then that's all well and good. Unfortunately most of fandom seems to see sex scenes as... I dunno, scene breaks or something. Which then of course requires one to come at the very end to close off the story -- when to me the story seemed to be done already BEFORE the characters hopped in the sack.

And I can't think of a good way to end this entry tidily, so it will now just end.