![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
All You Can Ever Know, by Nicole Chung
Apr. 25th, 2019 05:01 pmI was initially interested in this book because I remember Nicole Chung's writing fondly from the days of The Toast. This is her first book, a memoir focusing on her identity as a transracial adoptee.
Born to a Korean immigrant couple in the USA and raised by white adoptive parents in a very white community, Chung experienced racism in her community and experienced pressure to be a "good adoptee". But as an adult, and especially after she began expecting her first child, she realized she wanted to learn more about the family she'd been born to, and went searching. And found some answers, and the story was, of course, complicated, because humans so often are.
A well-written story and a thoughtful one.
But most of my feelings about this book are about my teenage cousin. I come from a white family, and one of my sets of aunt-and-uncle (also white) adopted an Asian baby girl once upon a time. This cousin of mine, like Chung, grew up in an extremely white community, and I can tell you that my cousin has even experienced racism from her parents, not just her community at large. And I've worried about her for years, but have never been close enough to, like, be a support. Or even to know what she really thinks about her adoption.
My cousin's a young adult now who recently left home to go to university, and I spent the whole time I was reading this book wishing I could shove it into her hands for her to read, for her to get affirmation that if she has complicated feelings about her adoption or her family IT'S OKAY, THAT'S ALLOWED. It would be really presumptuous of me to do so though, so I don't think I can. But I hope that like Chung, my cousin can (if she hasn't already) grow into finding her authentic feelings on the topic of her adoption and her racial identity, whatever those feelings happen to be.
Born to a Korean immigrant couple in the USA and raised by white adoptive parents in a very white community, Chung experienced racism in her community and experienced pressure to be a "good adoptee". But as an adult, and especially after she began expecting her first child, she realized she wanted to learn more about the family she'd been born to, and went searching. And found some answers, and the story was, of course, complicated, because humans so often are.
A well-written story and a thoughtful one.
But most of my feelings about this book are about my teenage cousin. I come from a white family, and one of my sets of aunt-and-uncle (also white) adopted an Asian baby girl once upon a time. This cousin of mine, like Chung, grew up in an extremely white community, and I can tell you that my cousin has even experienced racism from her parents, not just her community at large. And I've worried about her for years, but have never been close enough to, like, be a support. Or even to know what she really thinks about her adoption.
My cousin's a young adult now who recently left home to go to university, and I spent the whole time I was reading this book wishing I could shove it into her hands for her to read, for her to get affirmation that if she has complicated feelings about her adoption or her family IT'S OKAY, THAT'S ALLOWED. It would be really presumptuous of me to do so though, so I don't think I can. But I hope that like Chung, my cousin can (if she hasn't already) grow into finding her authentic feelings on the topic of her adoption and her racial identity, whatever those feelings happen to be.
